AITA for being upset that I wasn’t invited to my best mates’ stag dos just because I’m a woman?

I (34F) wasn’t invited to my childhood friend’s (36M) stag do. And while that really hurt, it’s not the full story.

I’ve never had many girlfriends — always been one of the lads. One of my best mates since my teens is getting married soon, and I was gutted not to be included in his stag. And I’m going to be honest: I let it go. I even made a point of telling people not to say anything to him, because it’s his night and the last thing I want is to make him feel bad or awkward about it.

But here’s the thing — my other best friend (31M) told me that I wouldn’t be invited to his stag either, whenever that comes around. Why? Because I’m a girl. And apparently it “wouldn’t be right”.

Now I’m actually fuming.

We’ve been close for what feels like forever, hanging out weekly for the last decades, we have seen broken hearts, dating fails, job changes, sports, video games, movies... like literally, if these boys were removed from my life.. well, I recently realised, I do not have any thing left. Apart from my house and my job.. we are pretty much inseparable.

And for context, I’m gay. I’m not showing up to these things to flirt with the boys or ruin the “vibe” talking about "girly stuff".

We talk about girls, relationships, all of it — just like any other group of mates.

I get that traditionally, stags were male-only, back when everything was more segregated. But there’s nothing traditional about our friendship.

We’re a small, close-knit group of friends. They’re all going — except me. And yeah, I know I’m not getting married anytime soon, but let’s say I do — am I supposed to throw a hens and not invite my best friends just because they’re men? I’ve got like, two close female mates. That’s it. What am I meant to do, throw a hen with a couple of girls I rarely see just to keep things gender-appropriate? Plus... well... a strip club would be awesome... and im not sure my straight girl mates would enjoy it... at this rate I will have to go on my own...

But no, apparently I’m being unreasonable. And I am the one that doesn't understand.

Bottom line: if I’m treated like one of the gang in every other part of life, why am I suddenly not one of them when it comes to something important? That’s what really stings.

So… AITA?