Growing up, my parents were often absent, working hard, figuring out life, and doing what they could to provide for us. I understand that now. I was the “easy” child, the one who didn’t ask for much, didn’t cause trouble, didn’t complain when they missed my school events or didn’t know anything about my life. I thought that’s just how things were. I became the perfect, low-maintenance kid because I had no other choice. I was okay with them not caring about my grades, not coming to the meetings at school, not caring if I had my meal, not attending “Parents Day”, not coming to get my report cards, not caring if I ranked first in my class or my grades in general, and many many more.

But now, years later, I watch my parents be incredibly involved with my younger siblings, tracking every assignment, attending events, hiring tutors, caring deeply about every little detail. They’re present in a way they never were for me. And sometimes, I can’t help but feel resentful.

When they have a hard time with my siblings or when any of my relatives have a hard time with their kids, they mention that it was very easy to raise me, that I was the “perfect” child because I was never difficult. How do I tell them that I raised myself and that I was “easy” to raise because I never asked for anything, never demanded to be seen? How do I tell them that it is very unfair that I never got to be a child?

I don’t act on it—I’m still the understanding daughter, the supportive big sister. But deep down, it hurts. It feels like I had to raise myself while they figured things out, and now my siblings get the version of parents I always needed and they don’t even seem to be grateful for that half the time.

When I mentioned this to my mom once, she just said, “Times have changed,” and moved on. And maybe that’s true. But I can’t stop feeling like it was unfair.

So… AITA for holding onto this bitterness even though I understand why things were the way they were? Am i making this a big deal and taking out of context?