So my mom told me that as my brother (19) my dad (40) and my mom (38) hung out in the garage it came out that my brother wasn't a Virgin anymore, and that he didn't think sex was worth the hype of today's world. This obviously was news to them, and from what she told me they were in disbelief and joked around that there was no way he wasn't a virgin. Now it is important to understand that my brother suffers from depression, severe mood swings, and anger (nmhe has not been officially diagnosed because my parents hate doctors and refuse to ho see them for their own selfish beliefs.) But he really is a very sensitive sweet young man. But he's been given a fucked up hand in life from when he was young. He was intruded very young to sex by a fellow peer of his, and this messed with him tremendously as he grew older. It is no surprise to me that he says he is no longer a Virgin, I thought it was only a matter of time before he had sex. Especially since he has had his own car since 16-17 and his curfew is 12 am. I voiced my opinion to my mother and she blew up at me, throwing it in my face that she was far older than me, and that from a sister's view point it is different from a mother's. I told her I understand, but she came to me with this and I was giving her the input of a teenager in this day and age. But she didn't want to hear it. Anyways we talked more and kept going back and forth her getting madder at me for my opinions. I do not think Virginity is that big of a deal, sure it should be given to someone you love and trust, yes that I agree on, but I don't agree on always waiting until marriage. My parents don't even know the full story. After they joked and didn't believe my brother he shut down, became distant and upset. For the next 2 days he she told me that he ignored both of their texts. This I admit isn't the best thing, but I still belive they aren't being understanding of him. Its like they have forgotten what it was like to be 19. Even thou their 19 is way different from his. My parents hand me and my brother out of wedlock, my brother was born when my mom was 19 and my dad 22, then me 18 months later. Me and my brother grew with our parents. And in the beginning things were rough, I know now that my parents were very prone to physical violence whenever we did the smallest thing wrong. Up until we were around 10 and 11. Thats when things began to change. My brother began to not care, he put up an act of not caring if he got hit or spanked. He acted how he pleased, whereas I on the other hand went the route of desperately trying to puzzle everyone's actions together so I would not get in trouble. I read my parents like a book, got damn good at lying on the spot, and figured out how to lie and get away with it 100%. My brothers attitude threw my parents for a loop, they knew he wouldn't be phased by the physicality so they stopped with it. Then I became the perfect quiet child so they had no reason the punish me. And we grew up like that. But we had a younger brother, 4 years younger than me. He was raised so gently and caring (not to mention me playing a large part in it) and I know me and my older brother saw how he got better parents than us. I know we both felt hurt, I turned to hard-core people pleasing. Doing any and everything for my parents, alwaya making sure everything to do with me made their lives easier. Now my brother, this is when he became really distant, very angry, very cold. He turned in in himself and abandoned me. Even today I think he resents me for being such a pushover, for sucking up to our parents. He's shut me out for years now. But I love my brother, more than he will ever know and I'd fall apart if he killed himself. But I don't know what to do. I live my parents, but I do not like them. I have always been on my brothers side, and I think I always will. It was us against them for years. He used to be my best friend, but our ways of surviving Drew a wedge between us. Not to mention my mother was an alcoholic, she refused to admit it and it was very bad whwn we were younger. I remember cleaning up her puke in the kitchen as she cried out for my father from the bathroom floor. He was drunk in the garage. I remember holding her as she wept in my arms about being a bad mother, and even thou i wanted to agree, all I kept saying was no your not, I love you. I was 8. Its to the point it is engraved in me that I do everything to please my parents, and everytime I do against my true feelings I die a little inside. I'm sorry this isn't about me. My mother and I talked around 90 minutes on my brother, I said they needed to be more understanding, to give him space, to give him time. But she kept saying that's he's just being a little bitch, or baby. If he wants to act like a grown man then that's how they were gonna treat him, but I think that is so gucking stupid. Because he isn't a grown man. H me us 19, hurt, lost, and sad. He dropped out of high school 11th grade, works a good ass job getting $22 per hr with a bunch of 30+ men. He didn't have a fun teenage years, he was strange, angry. Got mixed up with the wrong people. He bounced back a time or two, but each time took a toll on him. I pleaded for her to understand but it was no use. She said she understood where I was coming from, but that I just didn't understand. It's sad that my parents can't even fathom how much more I know than what they tell me. How much I remember but they 100% forgot. I belive my brother has been battling severed depression since the 7th grade, and my own mental health took a plummet in the 8th grade. I am battling my own depression and suicidal thoughts, for years we have both fought tooth and nail to continue living but it should be this hard, this suffocating so early in life. Our grandmother passed away 4 years ago, she was our rock, she was everything to us as we grew up. And her passing knocked the wind from our lungs. He took a turn so far to the worst, I curled unto myself. But u didn't get to grieve long. Why? Because I had a baby sister now. Was only 3 months old when my world shattered. But u had to care for her while my parents grieved and for years after. She is 4 now. I'm just so tired and empty. I truly need outside thoughts I'm losing my mind. My will to live stems from my baby sister. I can't die and her not remember me, or for me to die and she call out to me. It breaks my heart and I can't leave her, or my baby brother, or my big brother. I just want to give up, to go back with my grandma, and I know my brother does too. It breaks my heart. And I feel so hopeless. Am I the asshole?