I have a boyfriend. We first met in 2019 through a Facebook group about online games. Back then, we had an on-and-off thing every year. Our conversations would only last for about 1–2 months since we were still kids and we were in a long-distance relationship, and it was during quarantine. Now, we’ve been together for a year and 8 months since we finally took things seriously. He’s also my first love and the first person I’ve ever had a real relationship with, since I never really bothered to date before so I’m new to all of this stuff.

Recently, my boyfriend told me that he’s been feeling unloved and he doesn't know what he is to me anymore. We've had this conversation before, and it really hurt me especially knowing that I’m the one who always spends money on our dates, even if he’s the one who invites or suggests to go on a date. I always plan our dates, even when I go to his town myself. I give him gifts, even expensive ones. I also support him financially, like paying for his commute (fare for going to our place for our date) and other things he's struggling with. I order him food whenever he’s feeling down. I always update him and try to spend as much time as I can with him, even though I’m a busy person who really needs to focus on my studies.

One thing he asks from me is comfort, which I am unable to give anymore. Throughout the year we’ve been together, most of our problems and arguments usually start with him. Even the small things I do, he overthinks. Of course, in the beginning when we were just a month into the relationship, I still had the energy to constantly reassure him. But over time, I just started losing the motivation because it kept happening again and again. Even if I don’t reply for a few minutes, he assumes I’m cheating or talking to someone else. I even gave him access to my Facebook and Google accounts and he still doubts me.

Whenever I try to explain things, it’s like he doesn’t hear me and lets his emotions take over. When this happens, he also tends to hurt himself. There are times when tired to deal with him that I end up ignoring him, and then he threatens me whenever I don’t respond. He always begs and guilt-trips me. There are also times that I feel like he just wants to get out of this relationship so he just throws in any reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him, even though I’m hella tired. I’m still trying to fight for us because I really do love him. I’ve tried talking to him, but it didn’t help. It only made things worse, and according to him, he’s uncomfortable and scared of me. Also, every time I try to point out something he did wrong, he overthinks it and then the whole mood gets messed up again instead of just acknowledging it and trying to improve.

Sorry for the bad english, it's not my first langguage.