This might be a bit long. I, 41 F have a 28yo sister.

I found out about a week ago that she and her long time bf got married via a whatsapp status updated.

For some background, i stayed with my granmother throughout high school as i didnt get along with my stepdad, her dad. She was a baby at the time, so i didnt see her much. my mom and stepdad, her dad, owned a pub since i finished school. They eventually got divorced due to infidelity on his part, and my mom was primary caregiver for her and my brother. When i got engaged, my mom went through a bit of a wild faze while still working at the pub and would often leave my siblings home alone for the weekend. I also had to buy my sister clothes from one season to the next, as she often outgrew what she had. This set me back alot at a time as it was lots of items at a time.

When i got married things got worse. I then discussed it with my husband if we could pick her up every Friday and drop her off on Sundays so she wasnt unsupervised the entire weekend.we did this for months.

I'm skipping alot of info here, but my mom passed away in 2019, due to renal failure. I was the one who financially covered most of her dialysis and other treatments. Was there everyday for every hospital visit, etc. When she passed i didnt attend the funeral due to my belief, but i arranged her burial and spoke to the family to advise them of this and handed everything over to my aunt as per how they wanted the funeral.

My sister was 8months pregnant at the time. After the funeral she gave birth and then expected me to do what my mother was supposed to do. I thought this was a little much as u had a family of my own and couldnt possible fill the roll of my mom. We then had a fallout and didnt speak for 4 years. Granted i was also going through a tough time in my marriage. I almost got divorced.

Come last year November, my brother tells me their dad is sick. Stage 4 cancer. I showed up the Sunday, he passed the Tuesday. Mind you they never told anyone it was so bad. So we reconnected, and started hanging out again almost every weekend and spoke everyday since then.

What i did notice was that i opened up so much about what i do, plans i have and just about my life, and i never really get anything back. My husband has noticed and mentioned a few things too.

So the Sunday before she got married, we went over, had lunch together with the kids, and then 5 days later, i see the pics and announcement. I asked my aunt and she says she also didnt know and they also speak everyday.

So am i oversensitive to feel hurt, or is this just a one sided relationship, where i continue to give and do and will receive nothing back in return?

She says they didnt tell anyone they were getting married, but invited everyone for a spitbraai at their place. Its kid free, i have to pay for the event per person, theres a dress code and obviously have to buy a gift, and its on a Saturday when i observe sabbath and then have to make plans for my 4 kids for a babysitter at night. My youngest is 3 so cant leave them alone at home.

Am i wrong for thinking that i've just been giving and giving and received nothing back in return?