(I'm not 100% sure if this is the right subreddit if it's not please let me know where I should post this if it's not deleted. TLDR at the bottom)

Hi all, I, 26 (F) have a cousin, (I'm not sure how old he is exactly he is roughly between his 40s-50s ish) V Jr. (M) I haven't seen or spoken to him since I was around 7-8 yo. Let me tell you why.

To set the scene. The cast is Me, OP. My mother, mom, my father, dad, my uncle V, his wife, C, his son V Jr.

(This is to the best of my memory. So bear with me.)

It was the summer of 2005 or 2006. My mom is planning a family reunion for her side of the family. At this time in my life. Family reunions were common. After this incident it's been few and far between to non existent. She invited her older brother, his wife and son, her and older sister. I don't remember ehy but the sister couldn't come.so it was just my uncle V and his family. I don't remember what all we did. It wasn't anything elaborate. We aren't the kind of people to go all out often. But I do remember the 2nd to Last day of the reunion. My mom and I went to the hotel where they were staying at. My mom and uncle V were talking a lot, not sure where my aunt C was. She was either outside smoking or listening to the conversation. Lwt me describe my cousin. He is probably in his mid to late 20s at this time. I'm small 8 y/o and compared to him he was very tall and large. I don't mean buff large I just mean LARGE. Tho he is pretty strong compared to an 8 y/o. Idk how it started but we ended up wrestling and at the time I was confident that I could overpower him. Dumb kid brain I'm aware. At one point he had me by my wrists and cornered me in the hotel closet. It was a small walkin closet. He backed me into the closet wall and wouldn't let go. Even after I said to let go multiple times. He eventually did, but I was terrified. I hurried out of the closet and was crying. My mom noticed and she asked what was wrong bur I couldn't speak. When I get really upset I can't speak no matter hoe much I try. Quite frustrating.. anyways, my aunt and uncle seem oblivious of what happened but my mom thought it was a good idea to leave not long after. After I calm down I tell her what happened and she was shocked. My dad sadly wasn't there for this. He was at work. If he was I'm sure he would have decked him. We went to his job to tell him what what happened. He was understandably furious. My mom calmed him down before he went to jail. The next day is when they go home. And we went to say goodbye. I avoided my cousin like the plague. But he tried to give me a hug. And I said "don't touch me." He ignored ans tried again till I yelled at him "DONT TOUCH ME!" honestly if he touched me I may have gone feral and bit him. He backed off, but his mom glared daggers at me because I yelled at her precious baby boy. She's hated me since. When we had a mini reunion back in 2022 she refused to make conversation with me and talked when she had to. Guess she still hates me. I could care less she's been a nightmare of an aunt my whole life. That's another story in and of itself. If you want that story I'll tell it. Anyways, after my other cousin, my mom's sister's daughter. Passed in 2023 my uncle V and my family had even more tension. Family drama at its finest. Recently my uncle V decided to give my mom and her siblings a scare in Jan this year. He sent a cryptid messagebon FB messager saying he was sorry and to have agood life. At 2:30 am. My mom freaked out and I did as well because it sounded like a goodbye suicide note. We called ane called no answer. We called Aunt C. Also nothing. We texted no answer. I called and texted nothing. We called aunt N she got the same message. She tried calling him. I called the sheriff's department in his town to do a welfare check on him and explained the situation. They did and he wad thankfully fine. My mom called their kids their other son C2 was not happy we woke him up so early. He's not exactly friendly either. Later after that my mom has been able to convince my aunt N, her other brother who's name also starts with a V so I'll call him V2. To come to his town for an intervention to try and mend broken family bonds that has been shattered since my grandparents died. Again another story. But my aunt N and Uncle V2 haven't spoke. In order 30+ years since and my aunt N has all but disowned him. Somehow my mom convinced her and she is telling me I need to make amends with my cousin. Idk why I have to apologize for anything because I didn't do anything. In my opinion. I feel I don't have to or need to. I understand my mom wants her family to be a family again and to fix things between everyone and everything, but I've been stressed out for days about this. About seeing him again and reopening old wounds that I'd rather leave alone. That incident has traumatized me and costed me a relationship with a friend I dated for a year. He and I are still friends, but a relationship to that level isn't for us. But it was due to that incident. I've had an intense fear of larger men who are larger than me in size and height. It just brings back those memories of my 8yo self beinf stuck in a tiny dark closet with a man 5 times my size who wouldn't let go of my wrists. That moment I felt so helpless and terrified. And I practically shut down after that. And I feel that reopening those wounds will cause me to shut down or not be able to speak cause of hoe upset I will get.. I've tried to talk to my mom about it. But she really insists that I should make amends and such, my dad agrees with me and says I shouldn't have to apologize or make amends for something he caused. And I want to say no, but I'm afraid of hurting ot letting my mom down and beinf a hypocrite to my aunt cause I basically talked her into coming even tho she knows V2 will be there. I know my mo. Has good Intentions... but I feel she hasn't fully thought this through and it may brake the family more Then what it has already... Any advice will be appreciated, but please go easy on my mom she has a heart of gold but can sometimes not think things through fully even when it's been pointed out. And the hurt of her family being fractured for so long to maybe have a chance of putting the pieced together before its to late can blind a person to what can/could happen. For any Christians reading this my family and I could use some prayers I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for reading. I know it was long but I wanted it to be as accurate as possible.

TLDR: my mom wants me to make amends to a cousin that practically assaulted as a 8 y/o and I don't want to reopen old wounds that have never fully healed. Would I be the jerk if I refuse to make amends?