Hi Reddit,
My head’s a mess and my heart’s tired, so I’d love some outside perspectives (be honest—stab me gently if needed).
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He’s nice, and does thoughtful things: when my phone got stolen, he bought me a new one; he brought me groceries when I was short on money; and he always gets tickets for concerts.
He’s great logistically. Emotionally? I’ve never really felt accompanied.
Here are some facts:

• He’s never posted a single photo of me on social media. None. He says he hasn’t posted anything since his dad passed away in October 2023. But I checked—two weeks before meeting me (July 2023) he posted a camping trip with his friend “Caroline.” His father was ill around that time.
• Caroline and him have a sort of “pact.” They used to work on freelance projects together and even bought camping gear jointly. We’ve been together almost two years and he’s never once invited me to go camping. Never introduced me to her either
• He told me he once mentioned me to Caroline, and she said “it’d be awkward to meet”—because she knew I felt weird about them buying camping gear together.
• Also, when we first met, he told me she assumed I faked forgetting my wallet to see him again (Like… girl, chill. Not everyone’s starring in your mental Netflix drama.) Spoiler: I genuinely lost it and was too embarrassed to ask if it was in his car until I’d searched my house several times.

 While we’ve been dating, I’ve gone through some serious sh*t:

• I lost my job twice. The second time, I fell into a depression, took medical leave, had panic attacks at work, and went on medication.
• He didn’t support me emotionally. When I told him about my abusive boss, he tried to “see both sides” and told me I might just have a bias.

Eventually, I stopped sharing anything with him to avoid conflict. I started journaling everything in March 2024 just to stay sane.

Last time I feel like he doesn’t make efforts to see me during the week… but he swims Mon/Wed/Fri (2 hrs), goes to the gym Tue/Thu, and makes time every day for the supermarket or the pharmacy. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve been feeling like the last thing in his life.

He builds his week around his own routine, then tells me every Friday at last time what he “imagined” for the weekend.

If I say something bothers me, or show frustration - maybe a bit mad - , he just emotionally shuts down. He’ll literally stare at the floor for an hour.

What happened last Friday?

• We had agreed not to see each other because it might rain, and he rides a motorcycle. That “I might not come” already hurt—it felt like a lack of effort, but I don't ride motorcycles so I really don't know.
• Then in afternoon he texts me saying he’s coming anyway. Nice, But by then I had scheduled freelance work (which is currently my only source of income).
• When he arrived, instead of acknowledging anything, he asked filler questions like, “What are you doing?” while I folded laundry. I told him I felt hurt… and again, he went completely silent for an hour.

I told him I feel like he doesn’t listen or doesn’t understand. And it is difficult dealing with someone who doesn’t answer anything in one hour. He replied that I called him stupid and disrespectful. End of conversation.

What really hit me this week:

Yesterday I posted some silly AI images on Instagram—me as a cat, him as a dog. Then I realized: he hasn’t posted anything about me in two years.
And the last person featured on his profile is still Caroline. I scrolled back and saw tons of women commenting on his older posts.

And somehow I had never paid attention to that in all this time, so I don’t think I’m being irrational about feeling invisible.

And here’s the thing:

The whole “Caroline” situation still messes with my head. I haven’t brought it up since the start—two years ago, when I said their bond felt… off—but I’m pretty sure he still sees and talks to her. He just acts like it’s not worth mentioning.

It feels like she’s still emotionally relevant in his life—more than I am.

Honestly, I feel like she’s benching him. And I’m just the annoying reality check in her shadow game.

So Reddit…

AITA for feeling like this relationship isn’t real?
Am I asking too much just to be a more relevant part of his life—not just the leftovers?
Maybe I’m exaggerating.