I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years, together 7. We rarely fight, but like any two people sometimes we disagree.

In the instances where he did something I did not like, if I try to explain what he did that bothers me he usually does 1 of 3 things: 1) Flips the script and reminds me of something I did months ago, 2) Explains how he isn’t at fault, or 3) tells me I’m being too sensitive.

I think to most people, these would be really frustrating and I often feel like I am going unheard. So, many times when the instance is small and I know I’ll be over it in a couple hours, I don’t bother saying anything. However, still retaining some of the feelings of frustration and anger, I become relatively short/kurt with my husband. I never say anything nasty, I stop any light jabs, and usually just focus on myself and what I’m doing in the moment.

The other day, he told me I treat him like my personal punching bag. And when I’m mad he gets all my “heat” and “attitude”.

I’ve tried explaining to him multiple times that I feel like I dont get heard. To which his response is, “well I just say shit, talk over me.”

But like who wants to do that? Why do I have to fight to be heard?

A recent example: We have 3 dogs, 1 dog is +150lbs another is 30lbs and blind. My husband, loved to take the big dog on long walks alone and on the last block would let the dog off leash and sprint to the house. I only walk all 3 dogs together and because of the blind dog, I can’t run with the big dog to make sure it’s safe.

The big dog has learned he gets to run the last block and will just immediately start sprinting when we get there. Sometimes hurling me and the other dogs. When I first caught wind of this, I begged my husband to stop doing it. Saying it’s teaching a bad habit. My husband didn’t stop for months. Now my husband doesn’t walk any of the dogs because the big dog can’t go on very long walks while recovering from an injury. When I take them all on a short walk, the big dog will still try to sprint that last block.

The other day, it happened and the big dog yanked so hard it broke leash, ran into the street toward a group of people (who were scared of such a big dog) and me and the other two dogs on the ground tripped. Embarrassed, flustered and in pain, I texted my husband:

“Sometimes I resent you for teaching our dog this ‘sprint the last block’ behavior. I fucking hate that he does it, and no matter what I do I can’t get him to stop. It almost caused a serious problem.”

To which his response was, “hello triggered, it me? 🤷‍♂️ doesn’t do it for me.”

I then got short.

Him: “So what happened?”

Me: Tried to sprint, knocked us down and ran into the street at people.

Him: Ran into the street or at the crowd?

Me: into the street.

To which he a few days later said this was a moment where I was “Treating him like a punching bag.”