I (19, F) have always been the “mom friend” of my group. I’m the one who organizes get-togethers, checks in on everyone, and makes sure everyone feels included and cared for. For the most part, I love being there for my friends, but lately, I’ve started to feel like they’re relying on me too much and not giving back in any meaningful way.

I’ve had a lot going on in my life recently, with school, work, and just trying to figure things out on my own. Still, I’ve been making the effort to support my friends, whether it’s giving advice, picking them up when they’re feeling down, or just being a shoulder to cry on. But it feels like no one really checks on me. It’s almost like they assume I’m always fine because I never ask for help. They’ll call me when they need something, but when I need a favor or just someone to talk to, I get ignored or the conversation is quickly diverted back to them.

So, after a particularly draining week, I decided to take a step back. I haven’t been initiating plans or responding as quickly, and I’ve started focusing more on myself. I feel guilty, but I also feel like it’s time for them to notice I need care, too. I’ve been getting a lot of messages asking if everything’s okay and why I’m being distant, and I just don’t know how to explain that I feel drained and unappreciated.

Now, I’m wondering if I’m being selfish. I know I’ve always been there for them, but am I wrong for wanting them to step up for me, too? AITA for wanting a little more balance in my friendships?