My (25M) girlfriend (26F) recently started her residency, and since then, I’ve been feeling like our relationship has taken a backseat. We used to talk regularly and support each other, but now most of her time and energy goes toward her co-residents.

She’s often going out to dinners, attending socials, or staying up late talking to them—even when we had planned to talk or go over interview prep together. I’ve been helping her practice, reviewing her presentations, and doing everything I can to support her during this stressful time. But I’m starting to feel like I’m just the guy she leans on for help, while all her emotional attention goes to her new friends.

When I bring this up, she usually says “They’re not in our relationship, so you don’t have to worry about them.” But her actions suggest otherwise. She even told me she “clicks better” with one of them because they’re the same race and older, which made me feel kind of sidelined.

What really frustrates me is that when we try to talk about it, she’s barely paying attention—scrolling through Instagram or Facebook while I’m trying to open up. So recently, when she told me she was alone in her room resting, I checked her location and saw she was still in her co-resident’s room. I confronted her about it and referenced similar situations in the past where she’d said one thing but done another. Instead of talking it through, she started crying and said I was making her feel bad. I apologized, but at the same time, I felt like I was being gaslit for noticing a pattern.

I’m trying not to be controlling or clingy—I get that residency is demanding, and I’m proud of her. But I also want to feel like I matter in her life, not just when she needs something. So, AITA for being upset and feeling like she’s prioritizing her co-residents over our relationship?