Recently there was a situation that’s been gnawing at me, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or crossing a line.

A while ago, out of nowhere, my girlfriend mentioned that a guy friend of hers got in trouble with his girlfriend over his Instagram messages with her. She said the guy’s girlfriend “flipped out” on him, but didn’t really explain why. It struck me as odd that she brought it up at all, since I hadn’t asked, and it felt like she was warning me—or planting a seed. I’m not usually the jealous or suspicious type, so I just let it go.

But then I noticed some behavior that made me uncomfortable. She’d leave her phone screen on and open to her location sharing screen and I noticed that they were sharing locations with each other—something she and I don’t even do. It almost felt like she wanted me to see it and get jealous.

Eventually, I did something I’m ashamed of: I looked at the Instagram DMs between her and the guy.

Most of it was harmless—dog memes and whatnot—but there were also parts where she was talking negatively about me and my sister. She and my sister have had tension (mostly unspoken), but she’s never actually talked to her about it or tried to resolve it. So seeing her vent to this guy about both of us stung. And then he sent her a meme that was, to put it bluntly, a cum shot joke. She didn’t seem to push back at all.

Fast forward a few weeks. She was trying to find out who in my family I confide in emotionally. I mentioned my dad and stepmom, and she kept probing about my sister. I was hesitant to say anything because she’s made it clear (in passive ways) that she doesn’t like my sister, and I didn’t feel like giving her more ammo.

Meanwhile, she’s continuing this oddly intimate (in tone) friendship with a guy whose own girlfriend was upset about his conversations with her in the first place.

So, AITA for feeling resentful, suspicious, and ultimately looking through her messages? I know snooping isn’t cool—but part of me feels like she was baiting me, and what I found made me feel even more off about the whole thing.