On my birthday, My boyfriend came back after travelling abroad and we met after a few days of him coming back. His family lives abroad, his parents and his brothers and a few relatives. He came back and got me a body mist and some sweets, and free skincare samples (his relatives get them regularly since it’s part of their job). I get this absolutely sounds normal and why would I be mad at that? but here’s the thing. I’m obsessed with perfumes, I talk about them a lot with details. I told him my favorite notes, favorite perfumes, favorite brands and everything. We always talked about how gifts are supposed to be meaningful and that’s why we both appreciate them, not necessary because of the value or the price but the intention behind it. He got me a body mist so different from my personality even my close friends asked me why I have it since it’s so out of character. I know it sounds stupid, but it just makes me think like he’s giving me whatever he found rather than being thoughtful. I would’ve shut up if it was only the body mist, since at least it’s not my type but I can put it into use. The skincare brand he got me was one that I used to tell him I’d never use because It causes breakouts for me (good brand, just not for me) and it’s also not even bought, it’s free samples. The chocolates are ones that are the exact opposite of what I liked. he didn’t even pack it with care, it just felt like he threw in whatever was convenient. I didn’t talk to him about it for like a week or so, because I felt like I was being dramatic, but too many of my friends kept saying that it was so out of character for me to get that body mist. I just couldn’t handle how much I was thinking about it. I asked him where he got the samples? (answer’s obvious) and he was laughing about it. I got very dry in the conversation and I just really didn’t feel like continuing it and told him I need some time to think. He insisted that we talk NOW and then he got very mad at me when I told him the reason and I tried explaining how It made me feel but he kept talking about how I should’ve been grateful, and How I’m so materialistic he’s worried about what will happen if he gets me a gift I don’t like how my reaction will be, and if that’s how I’m going to react every time. His yelling overwhelmed me and I didn’t know what to do or feel at this point. Truly, if he didn’t know what I liked, I wouldn’t even dare to be mad at him. But he knows very well and that’s part of our regular conversation. He also mentioned that he thought I’d like them since they’re cheaper in the country he came from rather than the country we’re in and that they were on sale. He’s financially well and he’s not struggling with money by any means. I don’t mean by that that I want an expensive gift, but I thought that was unnecessary to mention.

I also am the type of person who would rather get a single type of flower that I love rather than a 5000$ bag in a color I hate (metaphor, he didn’t buy me a 5000$ bag). I’m not asking him to pay more, just to be more thoughtful and I made that clear. But he didn’t seem to get it and kept defending himself and saying I was being extremely rude and disrespectful. I told him we should wait until we’re calm so we can talk about this. But he couldn’t wait and just kept insisting.

Eventually, he told me his mom picked it because she didn’t like the perfumes I used and thought that they smell bad. she told him “she’ll like this one” and he went with it.

I’m not the one to brag, But everytime I go out someone stops me to ask what perfume I’m wearing. I’m working on myself to become a perfumer so I’m pretty confident in my choices not out of arrogance but they’re pretty agreeable notes to people I know.

AITA?

we’re both young adults and usually I get him personalized gifts so this is not one sided, and we talk about perfumes and skincare quite regularly for recommendations, opinions, knowing more about eachother and due to mutual interest.