I (21/m) have a massive crush on my close friend (19/f) who lives across the country from me. She has also admitted feelings for me as well but we have stopped short of dating because she currently lives in a very toxic household with verbally abusive family members and is constantly being forced to be around a drug-addicted uncle that SA'd her by said family. She wants to move out but has struggled getting a job. Idk what the deal is with that but seemingly no place will hire her.

Anyways, I have a very low-paying job myself and have a lot of debt that I've been trying to get myself out of, but I've been giving her money for food and other things when she requests it as she basically lives off of ramen.

So when after 9 months of pining for her she finally suggested a ramen date where we play video games and eat ramen together, I was ecstatic. Even though they said it was just a date, I still spent almost $100 on it (bought a game for us to play, bought them a working controller for PC, some money for ramen, etc). Then, when the time came for it and I was ready to go, we talked for maybe 15 minutes (they hadn't gotten anything set up yet except their controller) and then family drama pulled them away. I waited for 10 hours for them after that to finally have some semblance of a date. We ended up not eating together and played a completely different free-to-play game instead for about an hour before she started to fall asleep.

The following day, she asked for $50 more cause her grandmother had lost her job and she wanted to go out with friends to get away from the hostility at home. That's when I added up how much I had given her in the past week and a half and I was shocked. With the $50 she asked for, it was $260 in 10 days. I only make about $340 on a full work week plus I have bills for 3/4ths of the month. I told her I couldn't keep doing his cause I had my own debt to pay down and my own bills to pay. I told her I'd only help with emergencies from now on.

She's never belittled me or gotten mad at me or not giving her anything and says she understands, but she still keeps asking and the guilt weighs on me. I care about her but I also can't keep being her sugar daddy (especially since I'm not even getting any sugar from this arrangement). I guess I kept doing it cause part of me hoped the money would sway her into taking a chance despite the toxic home life and dating me but instead it's just made her dependant.

Would like to know reddit's take on this and if I am, in fact, the asshole in this situation.