I (M22) have been with my gf (F21) for about a year now. She’s always been super jealous but I make sure to assure her that she’s alright and there’s no need to feel that way because I love her so much. Anyways, she has panic attacks a lot from her jealousy and I never really understood it until we spoke about it the other night. Essentially, she’s not just jealous of people but is emotionally hurt knowing that there are other attractive people in the world. I made a few jokes with my friend the other day about porn and she was upset not because of the content of the joke (we both watch) but because my friend and I made named a specific person and she was hurt knowing that I know specific people. Another (more real) example is that I’m bisexual and I’ve always found it difficult to find my way physically and emotionally in that identity. One night we were at a bar and a man came up to me and flirted with me. Of course, I shut him down but I told her how validating it felt as a bi man to have that experience, as it’s never happened to me before, but it upset her because someone else found me attractive. It’s just difficult to figure out where the line between jealousy and obsession is because I’ve had past relationships with jealous people but it’s never been this extreme. It seems we’re arguing all the time over other people that don’t even always exist (she likes hypotheticals). I don’t know how to stop finding other people attractive or vice versa even though it’s never been acted on or even thought about.