Hello. I talked to a friend about this issue and he recommended me to post it onto here. Sorry for the long title and bad structure since it's my first time on here.

Essentially, I (18m) am head over heels for my best friend (18f). We both met at college and became friends almost instantly. We spend a lot of time together even after college such as on games, calls or even going out places. I eventually developed feelings after a few months and started to make it more clear that I have feelings for her and we started spending nearly all of our day together whether it was on call or games. I have made it very clear that I do have feelings for her and I'm sure that she does know since she has been flirting to me a lot and entertaining the idea of a relationship.

2 weeks ago, she started talking and snapping a guy and she told me not to worry about him. I said I wasn't going to worry about who she talks to since it's her life and her choice. Truth be told, it did slightly sting but I didn't want to say anything. Last week she started to constantly yell, "Why isn't he snapping me back" or "He's left me on delivered for 20 minutes". I laughed it off but changed the topic since I didn't really want to talk about it and focus on the game we were playing. Later that night, she was talking to me about how she "messed up" and "looks like a stalker" because she accidentally liked his live location on the app. I told her "it's nothing to worry about if you're not trying to get with him" and that's when she said "No obviously we'll get together at some point but it looks weird". I asked her "What about us?" in a joking manner and she said "But it's my old talking stage". It was weird and abrupt but I said alright.

After a few minutes, it just kind of hit me all at once then and I felt horrible. I ended the game night earlier than normal and informed her that I will be out for a late night drive and won't be home for a while since that's how my mind processes things. I wanted to leave my phone home so I did and also informed her about it prior to leaving. I expected to return after a couple hours, however it turned out way longer due to engine problems. During that time, I didn't reply to her and she freaked out, called my professor and close friends, saying how I might be injured or dead. As sweet as this was, it caused me a massive issue when I got back home since there was panic for no reason. My close college friends were driving around looking for me and my professor was on call to hospitals nearby. I had to spend a few hours clearing that up and I was in no mood to talk to her after and had to repeatedly ask her to stop calling me. This was probably our first ever arguement and it felt horrible but I didn't want to deal with more issues.

I went to work the next day and had a horrible 12 hour shift that was pure chaos and misery. I was already sleep deprived and on edge but still agreed to play games with her because I felt horrible about the night prior. The second I come online, I was expecting just some me and her time to talk and make amends but instead she spent the next hour ranting about how he doesn't respond fast enough. This pushed me over and I just snapped saying "Ok I don't need to know any of this sh**". I rarely shout or snap unless its serious so she was freaked out by it. I wasn't in any mood to play anymore or listen to pointless ranting so I called it a night and left. This was 3 days ago and I have unfortuantely annoyed the life out of another friend who knows about me and her.

The issue is that my friend is supporting me, saying it was justified, however I don't feel right about it. It's not her fault I was having a bad day and feel like I shouldn't have snapped at her like that since it wasn't justifiable. I still feel it's fair that I was upset after the whole panic she caused my friends and professor but otherwise, I think I'm the asshole.