So, as a bit of backstory, I don't buy stuff for myself much, when I do it's just things that I have been hyper fixating on(because of my ADHD), like beads, crocheting, guitar ect. So, my dad, has similar behaviours, fixating on colognes, CBD at some point, growing tomatoes ect. We are very similar in that way, except for the fact he has anger issues and gets irritated easily, calling me annoying and calling me 'autistic' in front of other people, and seeing as my mom in the main provider of the family, my dad and I had more of a relationship as I grew up. When I did something wrong, he would scream at me, asking if I'm r#tarded, and sometimes hitting me, then he'd come back later and say that he's 'sorry' and just 'doing what's best for me', and he's been doing it for so long I don't know what to believe. Is that some sort of abuse or not, is that just normal discipline?

Fast forward until now, I had ordered some clothes and other things, one of those things being a cute bracelet I had liked because of the beads. End of vacation, the stuff arrives, and I immediately put the bracelet on, showing my dad the accessory on my wrist, knowing for a fact he acknowledged that he had seen it on my wrist. Later, I go to my mom's office to ask her something, and my dad is walking back, proceeding to do the hand gesture where you meet all 5 fingers together in the middle(notch?)-me, being irritated, i proceed to engage him in a play fight, and he engages back. He then grabs at my wrist, or more specifically the bracelet I was wearing, and I stop the fight and politely ask him to 'please not grab my bracelet' with a frown, as i had just got it. He thinks that I was trying to disrespect him or something, questioning him. He gets upset and smacks the headphones i had on top of my head onto the tile floor on purpose(i had gotten them previously for Christmas and these was my best gift i had gotten), before stating that ''your money' is my money'. In truth, i did use my allowance, that i had been saving forever on to buy this stuff, but he always insists that he can do whatever he wants with my stuff, seeing as he 'technically paid for it'. I agree, he paid for most of the stuff I had, but I bought this stuff, with the money, from birthday money, money from my mom etc. The only money I get from him is from when he needs change. I just wanted to be able to enjoy my stuff for one day before something eventually happened and something broke. My mom had been in the office and told him that I had not spoken with any sort of disrespect with my tone, but he answered back, saying that I had pulled my face(which I did not), and that p#ssed him off. Now my mom is siding with him, saying that I was the instigator. He's sitting in the next room from me as I'm writing this.

So, people, AITA? For being defensive and upset? Or just in general.

Edit: I understand this is very minor, but I just need some clarification :]
Edit: After reading the comments, i need to add some more insight to this subject. :]

Some insight on my dad, when my dad was growing up, his parents would do similar things to him, he also had a brother to deal with, because of his undiagnosed ADHD, and the fact that it wasnt really something people talked about back then, he had struggled in school, being basically me right now, except for the fact i take medication, and get good grades consecutively. My dad has his moments where he's the best person i know, the best dad ever, but then he sometimes gets angry and does stupid things. i truly, truly love my parents, and i know for a fact they love me. Im not trying to make excuses for behaviour, but my dad, my mom, they arent bad people. I also understand it's difficult dealing with a neurodivergent and hormonal teenager every single day. :/

Edit: Dad has given me chocolate mousse. :]

Edit: Also just adding some personal lore, when i was younger, my parents would send me to therapy, but i was absolutely terrified of telling her anything because i knew she would relay what i said back to them, i mostly just borrowed books from her and she let me keep a signed copy of a book signed by Daniel Radcliffe.