So for some context me [18] and my brother [15] are half siblings, our father that we share is jewish but is not religious. I was only raised Jewish because of my mom, his mom however is an atheist so he doesn’t know much about it.

Every weekend I go sleep at my dad’s place to see my brother. My brother also likes to invite his friends over from time to time while I’m there, which I don’t mind too much, they’re nice kids. One of these friends, I’m going to call Vee, is usually a very sweet girl and talks to me quite a bit compared to my brother’s other friends. She is also very into Greek mythology and something called « the Epic musical » I think. (idk much about it but I know it’s Greek pantheon related) She also told me she’s a Hellenist and prays to the Greek g.ods and worships Apollo.

At first Vee would try to relate to me about general interests and hobbies, and then after discovering I was religious started trying to relate to me with that. At first it was fine, she was just saying small light hearted little things.

Then one day I was just sitting on the couch with some Star of David socks playing a game, when she randomly started giggling. I asked what was funny, and she said that I « constantly seem to want to flaunt and talk about being Jewish » and said that it’s ok though because she also makes her religion her entire personality.

Which threw me off since I was sitting in the privacy of my own home, and also because I barely talk about being Jewish at all. I brushed it off as her just being awkward, and let it go.

Then this weekend I was talking to my dad about an ongoing incident with a classmate. Basically I have a classmate who has been routinely harassing me for weeks, and saying generally really antisemitic things as well. Me and my dad were talking about how I should report it. We were in the living room within ear shot of my brother and his friends who were in his room. A few minutes later my dad left the house and I went to check in on the kids since I was put in charge while dad was gone.

I hung around the room with them just talking, when Vee suddenly talked about how she heard what I was talking about with my dad and how she « hates it how people bully people just for the religion they chose ». I told her that yes it is unfortunate, but It isn’t exactly the same thing, since I didn’t chose it and it’s not just my religion but also my ethnicity.

She told me i don’t have to make it sound like it’s of such higher importance, and how it’s the same as how she got teased for being Hellenistic by a classmate. I told her I wasn’t trying to make it sound like that, just making it clear it’s not the same thing. And also how being teased, although unfortunate, is not the same as discrimination I’ve dealt with more than once in my life.

That’s when the rest of the friends started backing her up and arguing with me about it. I ended up just leaving the room and only coming in the check on them since I didn’t want to deal with them anymore.

When they left my brother asked me if I could just apologise and « admit I was wrong » to Vee since she told him she would no longer come over if I didn’t do so. And how she didn’t want to be around someone who « invalidates her religion ». I told him, I’d be fine apologising to her for getting in an argument with her and getting frustrated with her, but that’s it. He told me that was unfair and how it wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.

So am I the asshole?