Okay, I’m about to sound like a big loser, but I (18F) met my girlfriend (18F) in high school about 3 years ago. We've been dating since, and there’s not much to say besides that I really like her, and she means everything to me. From the start of our relationship, both of us talked about how smoking anything is cringe and unhealthy, and we were both against it.

Fast forward to last October when she told me she smokes weed very occasionally at parties. I honestly got really upset, which to others might seem like a non-issue, but I was raised in a household where smoking anything is extremely frowned upon. If I ever inhaled any of it, my mom would break down. She’s not controlling in the slightest and is actually very carefree, so I feel comfortable with not doing the one thing she doesn’t tolerate. I also have no interest in it myself.

Moreover, my girlfriend told me she wouldn’t do it again after I got upset. I was mainly mad because she already has a bad memory, and she has some other minor health issues—not anything awful, but I just want her brain to develop well and for her to be healthy.

Okay, so after she told me she wouldn’t do it again, a couple of months later, I asked her about it, and she confessed that she smoked the weed pen again for three days straight with her friends.

To be fair, even though she pretended to share my stance on smoking, her reality at home is different. Her dad and brothers do it regularly, so it’s much less shameful in her eyes compared to mine. Still, it really bothered me, and I got upset. I know it’s normal for a lot of people, and everyone seems to do it these days, but I still find it to be a bad thing, so I don’t know what to think.

Now, yesterday, she confessed that after four months of sobriety, she hit an Elf Bar (which I think is a vape) after getting really drunk. Now I don’t know how to feel. Am I being annoying for getting mad? Should I just let her do as she pleases and stop reprimanding her? Am I dumb for even bringing this up?