hi, i (26F) asked my (28M) fiancé ( of almost six years this year in july ) if he would, if we did have kids, help me unclog my clogged milk duct. i understand this is a hypothetical and i definitely asked him out of the blue, but he went completely silent for almost 30 seconds and then acted like he couldn’t possibly know right now. i got upset and said “well if you can’t answer now how am i supposed to know you’d know in the future?” and he told me that’s not fair, i just asked. i said “okay.” and proceeded to go silent. to which he also said it wasn’t fair that i was getting upset for him not having an answer. i asked him, how is that fair to my feelings when what you’d do to help me in a painful situation in the future is “i don’t know.”

he ended up saying it’s not his responsibility to deal with my feelings on a situation that hasn’t happened yet and i went silent again. i continued, when pressed about it, to say “it’s fine” so i didn’t start an argument which seemed to upset him for a few minutes but we’ve moved on and he’s showing me videos again. i feel shitty for not further explaining myself but if he didn’t understand why’d i’d be upset on a future situation when i explained it the first time, what’s the point of explaining it in the plainest and most in your face way? i feel like that’d make him feel talked down to and i don’t want that either. our communication is usually fairly good, regardless of still having arguments ( which i think is healthy ), but im not sure how to go forward from here.

essentially, im asking if im the asshole because i got upset and didn’t want to communicate further at this time when he said “it’s not his problem” about my feelings in the matter because it hasn’t happened yet?