I (18f) have had a crush on a guy (18m) for nearly over 10 years and I haven’t been able to tell for one reason or another. He recently started dating my ex-best friend (who is my Ex-Bestfriend for many more reasons than just dating my crush) I know for a fact that my ex-best friend (17f) is dating him only because I like him. So me and my crush I’ll call him Ty met at a birthday party when I was 8 and he was 7 or 8 (he’s 6 or 7 months younger than me) and when I had to leave I told my parents “I think I just found a boyfriend.” Then we didn’t see each other for a bout 3 years. At which time we had moved closer to where we met, his mom started to babysit me and my younger sibling were my crush hit my full force. (Not him the feelings) and haven’t gone away. We started to go to the same church and we saw each other every day but Saturdays. For about 5 or 6 years. (We were both homeschooled and my mom would take us to there house everyday for school.) I met my ex-best (gonna call her Cal) friend when I was 13 or 14 I don’t remember exactly. Any way after a year or two I thought I knew her well enough. (I.E. was way to trusting) and told her some really personal and traumatic things for me, and she’s interrupt and interject how worse her experience in that was because it happened to her 3 fold. Not even kidding she said she had it worse. Anyway me a trusting, sheltered, little idiot thought she way telling the truth. She told me she was pregnant and I went to someone (I trusted and had her permission to go to) for advice so I could help her. And then came back saying plan B worked. (Keep in mind I didn’t know how plan B worked) it had been way over date for it to work. (Not abortion pills) the person I went to for help pointed out the inconsistency’s in her story’s and told me she was probably lying to me. I found out for myself that she was. (She still doesn’t know I know she lied) anyway I had also told her I had a crush on Ty, she immediately acted like it was nasty that I had a crush on him. But then they started dating and she refuses to admit she acted that way. (She’s in it for the attention) Everyone in our church had mixed feelings about them being together but they definitely had everyone’s attention. When it finally wore off she went to a guy in the church she knew liked me and told him I liked him back. (I do not and did not I feel bad for him tho.) she gave him my number and I had to reject him. But that was more drama and attention for her. Anyway now Ty is in-listed and is going to leave, I feel like this is my last chance to tell him. At least in person and I really don’t want to do it over the phone or text. I’m also terrified of losing him. This is love I know it is and don’t want the dating but he’s happy and I don’t want to hurt him.