Hey guys I am a bit stumped with this one. Am I the asshole for getting upset/hurt when my partner said he was going to his ex wife’s family house on the weekend ?

So my partner J was with his ex for 12 years and he has a two year old daughter. His ex is not a very nice person and J and I have been together for one year. My partner J told me that in a few days he will be going to his ex’s families house to look at her uncles car. (J used to be a mechanic). He said he will be taking his daughter aswell and that I will have the house to myself for a bit.

He has done this once before (it’s not often at all) and I told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable that he will be spending time with his ex family. He said that he still has his tool box there so he needs to remain in their good graces due to his stuff being there and that they are good people.

Last time this happened I told him how it made me feel and that was that. He told me last night that he will be going again and obviously I can’t go. This is one of his only days off aswell and I was looking forward to being able to spend the day with him and my stepdaughter. I told him again that it made me uncomfortable and hurt my feelings and then I went to bed.

I feel like he isn’t taking my feelings into account and I don’t understand why he can’t get his tool box and bring it home. He also always complains how people use him because of his car knowledge and he doesn’t enjoy working on cars. So am I the asshole because it makes me feel uncomfortable and feel like he doesn’t care how it bothers me?