I (24 female),have been having trouble with my husbands (30 male) family. Now the incident I'm writing about occured awhile back but has stemmed into poor relationships that has continued. A little back story, my SIL (I'll call her Sarah) and I started off with a good friendship. She was very active during my pregnancy and wanted to be involved heavily.

Which I absolutely had no problem with and welcomed it since I don't have a big family, or many friends. Well to give more context to the story, she found out she was pregnant about 2 years later and I was over the moon excited for her. I was the first person she told aside from her husband. Which made it such a special moment for us, or so I thought. Over the next few months, it was like my husband and I didn't exist.

First example, her husbands (I'll call him John) birthday was shortly after finding out about the pregnancy. I was super excited as I had a feeling my husband's brother was going to tell him he was going to be an uncle (when my SIL told me, she asked me not to tell my husband, as John wanted a "brotherly" moment with him). Normally my MIL plans the bdays, but she was out of town so it was up to the rest of us. I made sure to ask Sarah for the details and I made sure we were there.

Except when we got to the house, it was completely EMPTY. No one was there. I texted her to ask if we went to the wrong house, when she replied back "oh I'm sorry, we changed plans and went up into the mountains in the morning instead. It totally spaced my mind to text you guys." I won't lie, I was hurt since other people had been informed and not us, but I understand the first trimester is really tiring, so I brushed it off.

Next incident was a few weeks later when they planned a dinner to announce to the family. We weren't even invited. My husband found out from his sister calling him in the middle of dinner. Now it was starting to get under my skin because it definitely felt intentional. But I bit my tongue and still gave my love and support.

Now onto the gender reveal.... Due to mine and my husband's jobs we only had about a 40 minute window where we were both there (reason I didn't request the day off was because I had just started there a week earlier and REALLY needed the job). I had asked the day before if they wouldn't mind waiting until we got there, and if not, could they have someone FaceTime us.

John had said that it was actually a perfect window since it was about halfway through the party. I was so excited to be there for her! We rushed over as fast as I could to see pink dust in the street... I get out of the car to be greeted by MIL, who informed us that we had actually missed it by about 30 minutes.

I was so hurt and so was my husband. It felt like a huge slap in the face as I was really trying to be involved like she was with my pregnancy. I knew I should've waited for a better time to address it but I was fuming. Sarah came rushing at us with smiles and hugs, but I couldn't get past my feelings.

I didn't want to say anything rude or mean, so I just set my daughter down, and didn't say a single word. I walked past her to go to the bathroom to cry. Which also made her cry as it put a kink in her special day. I was approached by my other SIL and basically was told to leave. I immediately grabbed the keys, called my husband who was in the backyard, and left in under 10 minutes of arriving. Now it's been awhile since then and both parties have apologized, but I can't help but feel like they would be happier if I wasn't around. Am I the asshole?