Hi, i'm honestly scared to do this, but i just need to know if im in the wrong or if people have advice for this situation because it has happened way too many times. i know if it continues it'll be a much larger issue. not for me, but for him, which i wanna avoid because i rather him just be happy.

I am 24, Female, he is 23, male. we have been together for a year and some change now. just for some background, my boyfriend and i hang out everyday, we were friends before we got together for two years. i love seeing him all the time because i just genuinely love being around him, even if we aren't talking. he is just genuine, comforting, beautiful to look at, and don't tell him i said this but he's funny lol. we have had some problems in the past where we would make plans to hang out at my house after he gets out of work, but i would get text from friends randomly to hang out. (this is not an every week thing.) i would go out with them and wait for him to get out. he then discussed with me he doesn't like that i wait till he gets out of work to tell him to come hang out with all of us because he feels like it's a pity invite. i cannot stress enough, it's not. we were all friends before, i want everyone to be friends while we are together too. just have good times. my first initial reaction was, he would get over it and just come have a good time with everyone. all be it, i'll admit that was selfish of me. it took me a couple tries to finally realize i was being selfish and prideful, so i stopped doing that and the moment i get the text to hang out i will inform him i am hanging out with this person and where i was told we are going, then ask if he'd like to come. sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't, i would just see him after if not.

then another issue would arise where if i do go out i was not texting him enough. i can understand he just wants reassurance which i can provide, i think? however, i sometimes can't do it in a timely manner because i unfortunately have this thing where if im around too many people i quite literally can't focus on anything all at once: people talking to me, giving the right responses, managing conversation (i get social anxiety so i have to really focus on not saying the wrong thing), making sure my drink doesn't get drugged, i have my purse and keys (i also lose hella shit if i don't pay attention), have a good time, make sure my friends aren't getting kidnapped, making sure everyone is having a good time, and texting everyone back the moment i see the message. it's just too much truly. so i got into the habit of just updating where im going and what im doing, hoping that would be enough. to which i dont think it is, thats where im lost on what to do. it took me letting my pride go just to update someone where im going at all times. it just reminds me of being a teenager with my mom again.

i went out with friends recently, it was a random girls night. first, my sister and i went to the mall, but then my friend called me and asked if i would like to go to see a movie, she said i could bring my little sister, so we went. i told him what was happening as he was at work. this movie night then turned into a very random extended girls night where we went bar hopping. i was just there for the ride, with no idea what was happening. it was just all very sporadic. i was still texting him updates on what was happening, where we were going.

finally the wild ass night got to an end around 3 am, i was the first to leave because i wanted to go see him. he told me before going to bed to call him when im done he'll wake up and i can come grab him, so we can sleep in the same bed. i was iffy about it at first because i felt bad waking someone up, but i also knew if i didn't call; it would probably be an issue. so i called asking if he would like to just sleep or come over to sleep. he decided to come over, so i went to get him. however, once i got him i was just talking about the night, telling him all about it because i had fun. he kinda just seemed tired and a little grumpy making passive aggressive remarks or kinda zoning out. so i stopped talking till we came home to sleep.

i had work the next early morning so i got ready while he slept in, once it was time to leave i was just kinda updating him about the crazy stuff that happened that night again so there's nothing being hidden. or trying. i kinda only got the first part out where my friend was flirting with some guy to get us drinks. I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT IN REAL LIFE I WAS AMAZED. i'm telling you; i had a drink in my hand at all times, more times than none, i was double fisting lol. it was insane because i could never do it, id feel to bad, nor do i like people enough to act as if i like them. especially men. my face says it all. i rather just buy it myself, it's easier. so she was doing all the dirty work; all i had to do was sit there look pretty getting free drinks alwhile being on my phone ignoring everybody. when i told him, he kinda made another passive aggressive comment like "oh so that's what you think is fun" insinuating flirting with guys for drinks. i replied "no, i just thought it was crazy to see in real life. i thought that shit was just something on tiktok". i don't go out for men i never have. i truly don't even care to talk to men because it's exhausting and a lot of work for no reason. i never really cared about dating. this is my first boyfriend ever. so, going to bars to flirt with men for drinks? not my style. anyways, i left the room to let my dog out. when i went back to the room i joked about something like "you know what's not fun, going to work lowkey still drunk", he then replied "that's your fault." very sternly. it is my fault, however i was just joking lol, it got so serious so fast. once we got to the car, i just started making light conversation, asking if he would like to come with me to my moms for her birthday. he was saying i don't know, maybe. which he never does, he's usually willing to come with me everywhere when he's not mad at me so that's when i could tell yesterday was truly a problem. i also didn't have time to talk about it, as i was already late for work.

usually, he would text me at work, this day he didn't. i figured maybe he just wants some space. i then got out of work early asking again if he'd like to come. finally he said yes, kinda? he just said he needs to shower before, so i'm assuming it's a yes lol. after asking i said i miss you. homeboy replied "you just seen me." YEAH like 5 hours ago lol. so he's still clearly upset, but he's not talking about it. mind you this happens everytime i go out without him. i just always feel like i did something wrong by going to hang out with friends, when i thought i did everything right.

i don't know what to do, i do update him, i make sure i make time to see him even if it jeopardizes my sleep, and i fixed the problems he said before. it just feels like he gets mad when i go out without him at this point, but maybe im just self centered and can't see it? that's why im here so people can give me a reality check. i do wanna end this off by saying, he's not a controlling person, i promise. he will ask me sometimes just to ask questions to seem interested like what im doing not in a "what the fuck are you doing". i think he just gets hurt. which i don't wanna do.