I (43F) work Sales in a male dominated industry for over a decade, and often attend trade shows. I have been married for 4 years to my current husband. I have male friends in industry that I have varying levels of friendship with. Some I am closer with than others.

There is one friend (M60ish?) whom I have known for the entire time I’ve been in industry and consider him one of my better friends in industry. Friendly when we see each other, but don’t directly work together and almost never speak outside of seeing each other at these shows. He plays an instrument and every year he and other people in industry get together for a “jam” where they play music together at a bar as a fundraiser. Bar scene isn’t my scene but I used to go to be supportive and for networking, but since getting married I haven’t been going, just because I didn’t want my husband being uncomfortable. A few years ago my husband and kids were with me out of town while I was a tradeshow and I said no cuz we had the kids. My husband was aware there had been an invite and if the kids had been with us we both could have gone though he would have said no he didn’t want to go if we hadnt had the kids.

Anyway I am out of town at a tradeshow right now, and ran into this friend and I’m at a crossroads where I’m considering a job change and he has been in the industry for 25 years. We were talking at the end of the show and my stomach was growling and we decided we would go get dinner. We talked about the job challenges and thoughts on where I might go next, who he knows might be looking, the economy, how the tariffs are affecting business, women in this industry and higher positions, etc and of course high level family stuff, his wife and kids, my husband and kids. Before I went to dinner I texted my husband and said “Getting dinner with my friend X from X company”.

My husband is mad because I went to dinner with a male “friend” that he doesn’t really know anything about, and thinks it was inappropriate and says that I don’t know how to communicate because I haven’t previously spoken to him about this male “friend” and we don’t directly work together. AITAH for going to dinner with a male friend?