Very weird, I know, but it’ll be even weirder when I tell you that I’m a female. F(18) in fact. It’s always been a known thing for girls to love on same-sex romance, but BL/Yaoi have been a favorite of such for a while. You could literally see any girl freak out about seeing two hot guys in love with each other. My thing is that in my occasion, it’s actually something I personally don’t enjoy.

And I never really looked into it until 2020. That’s when everyone was starting to get into Anime and Manga, but mangas were the main topic. I never was apart of the anime community and in fact hated anime growing up because of how things worked out in such perverted manners that turned even illegal, but shrugged it off because of the fact that it’s literally fiction, but that’s besides the point. I started off with My Hero Academia as my first anime which I absolutely loved, but unfortunately had to deal with the fandom that came along with it, unbeknownst that I literally joined the worst fandom possible within 2020 anime trends. I witnessed every single fanart, cosplay, but worst was seeing how each one was mainly about Bakugo, Deku, and Todoroki— all males. If you don’t know the anime, Bakugo hates Deku, Deku is the main character, and Todoroki quite literally has nothing to do with either of them. Only one scene of Todoroki and Deku fighting was the closest to interacting fully with the MC and it made fans send threat letters to the creators to make them canon lovers.

That’s the first thing that set me off— I was uncomfortable. Then the fandom introduced me to all sorts of Yaois. BJ Alex, Painter of the Night, Obey Me… those traumatized me. Not just because some that were introduced to me were literally M🍇, but because everyone were head over heels to make the victim and their assaulter canonically in love. Some were cute and genuinely meant to be BL, sure, but something about it— the fact that they were guys? It made me uncomfortable. Felt like I was reading something against my will or like I was reading a stash I wasn’t supposed to read, but I was 13-14 so I’m not too surprised why I felt that way. Maybe because I grew up with searching up “girls kissing” rather than “guys kissing” like any other little girl.

I’m pansexual. I couldn’t care less about if someone is gay and I’m not a homophobic person, I just don’t want to be seeing guy intimacy… it doesn’t click for me, y’know?

Then comes the popularity of shipping. Name me one fandom that doesn’t have a ship between two guys that are either best friends or enemies…. exactly, every fandom has it. You can believe whatever you wanna believe in, even if I don’t agree with it because it’s not gonna stop you. I just think it’s weird. If it’s not canon, why bother? It’ll be two of the most random characters or the ones who are the closest in some form whether hatred or friendship. People have even done it to actors— married actors… wives and kids. And each time I’d voice the issue out, I’d always get put down as a homophobe or of some sort. No, I just don’t want a grown woman shipping two 16 yo boys together for your weird little fetish you crave (Cough JJK: Itadori and Megumi). Nor want to see a woman shopping two actors just because of a show that’s forcing them to interact (cough Squid Game S2: 456 and 001).

Like I said, it just makes me uncomfortable. Do what you want, I guess, but it’s so common that I can’t even press “not interested” without seeing it again later on.