I’m a 28-year-old female. I have only two cousins, one is 11 years older than me, and the other is 13 years older. As a child, I absolutely adored them. Up until around the age of 8, I was a very pretty, bubbly, very social little girl. But then things started to change. I gained a lot of weight, and when my adult teeth came in, they were too big for my mouth and ended up crooked. That combination changed my appearance drastically. I went from being the “cutest little girl” to the “ugly duckling” within a year.

After that, people started commenting about my weight, teeth, and how pretty I was, and how unbelievably ugly I’ve gotten, literally to my face, including my aunt, the mother of my cousin sisters. I was only 9 years old, and those comments shattered my self-esteem. I became extremely shy, withdrawn, and anxious in social situations. I avoided going out and barely interacted with others.

When I was around 12, I tried to pull myself out of that shell. I started losing weight and tried to be social again, but I still struggled. During this time, my cousin sisters grew distant. They had become very close with our second cousins and seemed uninterested in me. I tried hard to rebuild a bond with them, but they didn’t seem to care about this now "awkward, uncool" version of the girl they used to know. That hurt deeply, because I still loved them very much.

When I was 14, my oldest cousin sister got married. By then, I had lost a lot of weight, though I was still a little overweight, and my teeth were still crooked. I helped out with her wedding and remember being told I couldn’t be her bridesmaid because I was “too young.” Instead, our second cousin (two years older than me) was chosen. I was okay with it, didn’t think much of it.

Three years later, when I was 17, my other cousin sister got married. I had braces by then, so she called me and asked if I could take them off for her wedding. When I told her I couldn’t, she said she can't take me to be a bridesmaid because my braces would look “ugly” in the photos and during the function too. That was a moment I will never forget. It felt incredibly cruel, and I was so hurt, and it left a deep scar.

Now, 11 years later, I’m the same age they were back then. And looking back, I can’t believe how I was treated. I should have cut ties with them then and there. I feel like I don’t want to keep any ties with them now and want to cut them from my life. Am I the asshole here?