Me and (I will refer to him as J) got into an argument tonight. I was asking why he use to add other girls on Snapchat and talk to girls that were flirting with him when we were talking again after the breakup as well as during our relationship. He says he meant no intention in adding girls back on Snapchat and Instagram now knowing it was disrespectful to me after a 20 minute argument. It is hard for me to believe there is no reason he added other girls on snap and insta.

When I first brought it up he immediately got defensive and said I am over reacting to what happened in the past because he meant nothing by it and no intentions when adding them back. However I am a teenager and know how girls, myself and others are like when trying to add people. When we started talking again after the breakup up he still had other girls added that were flirting with him where he is in college and one would call me a b**ch after I sent streaks on his phone he then stopped talking to her. (That was when we first started talking after the breakup up)And then he said why am I mad about something he never did when we were together even though I vividly remember him doing that in our relationship.

Then I said I am only talking about when we were talking not when we broke up and he then said you did worse than me. Context I was crossed and ended up at a frat boys house because my friend took me there and we did the deed. I barely remember it because I was so gone and I deeply regret it because I wish I never did it. I ended up telling J because I felt so bad even tho we weren’t together. Am I the asshole for hooking up with someone when J and I were not talking and broke up. When he would add and talk with girls when we were talking and dating.

I now know when things like arguments or mistakes happen in a relationship they should not be brought up after being solved. We are both young adults and communicate in very different ways. I am the anxiety and he is the avoidant. He doesn’t know how to communicate so he ended up just hanging up. I should have never brought it up. Period. It was a past issue and he no longer does it. I just find it hard not to ask “who are you texting” or just go through his phone. We both started saying things at least I regret.

I just already feel so guilty for what I did because if I knew J and I were going to start talking again I would have never even talked to another dude nonetheless do something with one. Now I feel like he’s using it against me for his guilty actions. However, overall I should have never asked why he used to do those things before. I would appreciate the help if anyone has any. Thank you.