My ex and I broke up in 2021 (long relationship, the better part of 20 years). I moved in with his sister and am renting a room. I don't have the space for most of the things that are at his house.

He and I remained friends until April 2024, about 4 months into his new relationship. At that point, he abruptly stopped hanging out with me (and his sister, sadly), but continued to communicate with me via text. In May, I bought some storage containers to put my things in order for a future move out of the items. But he never let me go there to do it.

In August, he broke off contact (without a single word). I have not heard from him directly since. He stopped letting me see the dog we got together too :-( It screwed me up a lot.

In October - November, I asked multiple times and ways to pick up my things. Via text, email, through his sister (he ignored my messages and either ignored hers or put her off, but I never got an answer about if I can get my stuff or what). At that point, I was just wanting to donate/trash what I can't store and bring what I can here. Just get it out of there because the whole thing messed my head up. I just wanted it to be final so I could move on mentally.

I told him to dispose of my stuff in November or December.

I've been feeling better about it. A package was delivered to his house for me today. I did NOT know it was coming and the sender knows my current address. Hearing that my ex dropped it off got me upset again.

Knowing he came by, sneaking up to the house to deliver it so I wouldn't know he was there... it really upset me. I wrote him. Asked him to just return to sender or whatever on anything that comes in.

His sister says it would be shitty of me to put it on him to deal with my stuff - whenever the time comes that I can get it (???) But I feel I gave him tons of time to figure out a time for me to come by! AITA if I refuse to get my stuff?