I (43F) have a best work friend (40 M) named Joe. I'm married (to 42M) and he's married (to 45M). And our spouses get along well. We go out/get together about every two weeks. My hubby is bi and told our friends at the last firepit night we had (about a month ago). This is a big deal because he never tells anyone. He trusts them and that's cool. Joe tells my hubby that's he's also bi and loves boobies. So no biggie, everyone is laughing and being accepting.

So last night we invite Joe and his hubby out to a beer garden to check out a band. Joe is all in, but hubby is out of town. No problem. We go to pick him up, I'm DD. We listen to music, run into friends and chat. A nice night.

So the music ends and we head home. Joe wants to keep hanging out and since it's not to late we come back to our place and have some beers. He also had some edibles.

Since we are safely home I decide to have a gummy. No biggie, Joe has one. My hubby gets random drug tested for work so he passes. Joe gets droned (drunk and stoned). I'm vibing from the gummy, but I'm cool. About 2 hours into the event Joe and I end up in the kitchen. He's a little handsy (in the stoned "l love you man" way) and has his arm around my shoulder. At this point I'm getting some water and not feeling any sexy vibes.

I get my water. Look at him and say "we should get back to the patio" (my hubby was sitting outside.) and his response was to say "better idea" and he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back, but I also didn't really pull away. (More about that in a second)

He looks me in the eye and says "Let's get "Hubby" in here and fuck him together." I laughed out loud. I didn't know how to respond. I just told him "No, I don't share."

He seemed really hurt (the look in his eyes) But jumped into topic changing humor. I thought it was over, but he got weird and started to try to turn the conversation back on the patio to sex talk. So we politely but firmly wrapped things up and called him an Uber.

I got multiple texts from him when he got home apologizing and asking if he fucked everything up and if I hated him. I told him it was ok, we aren't mad and we are cool. But now I'm worried I really hurt him for laughing at his proposition. AITA?

*** side note*** Joe and I work in the same building as Joes hubby. We all stop by each others cubes and say hi during the day. Joe has helped me on multiple projects and is my go to person for projects now. He's great at what we do. The problem is I've known I've had a bit of a crush on him for a while. Nothing major, just the occasional "damn if we weren't married..." kinda thought.

I'm married, not dead.

But I have avoided going to conferences and trips if it would just be Joe and me. Because deep in my heart I think something might happen if we were alone together. I'm not worried about having sex. If we did and I told my hubby about it he'd probably be ok with it as long as it was just sex and not emotional.

But that's my problem, there are some emotions there for Joe and that's what I'm scared of. Help Reddit... should I find a new job? Stop talking to Joe?