my boyfriend and i have been together for almost five years, now, but we don't see each other much (like, two or three months without seeing each other and then i got to stay with him for like a week). i am always working, i am always travelling to parts of the world and he stays in new york. we from michigan, and i moved to chicago for a job and then just kept moving places because my job needed me to and because frankly i like being around

he recently got transferred to New York (he's a college professor), and that was the last time we saw each other. i always told myself (and him) that if someone ever came along and offered him what he wanted from me, that stability, that we could talk about it. that i don't want to tie him down with me and deny him opportunities with people that may be good for him.

thing is: i do love him. if i could settle back and live with him, i would. but that meant giving up my passion, my art and he wouldn't allow it. he never asked me to stay, and sometimes i think that maybe he knows that if he ever asked, i would drop it all. but then... i would be unhappy, too. seeing the world makes me happy, going to new places, meeting new people, painting different pictures with different scenarios, and learning new cultures. that makes me happy.

sorry this is a bit confusing... its just that. what i am asking is if im being irrational. if leaving him behind is a dick move. i want him happy, even if not with me. maybe im being dramatic, maybe im overcomplicating things.