I am 23(female) and my little brother is 18(male). for context me and my siblings grew up in the foster care system, but my little brother got it the worst because he never got out of the system until he turned 18. Every single placement he got into, he fought and attacked people and did everything he could to get back into the system. He has mental health problems and self sabotaged his situation until he ended up back in the system. It got so bad that for the last few years he was in the system he had to stay at mental health hospitals because he was a danger to others and himself.

About a year ago he aged out of the system and he decided to stay with our biological mom in Mississippi (we’re from Texas). He had an opportunity to go into a program that will help him learn how to be an adult, get a job, finish high school, live on his own, etc. He decided instead of doing that he was gonna go stay with our mom. Throughout the time he stayed with our mom he pulled a knife on her, threatened her, fought her, did everything he could to get out of the situation. Recently my mom came down to spend time with me and the rest of our family, and he decided he was gonna fight my mom and tell her he was gonna go stay with a friend in texas. My mom begged him not to, but he persisted, so she ultimately compromised and asked if she could at least drive him there, and she did.

I’m asking if i’m the asshole because his whole life i’ve been his support system and I’ve been a second mom to him. I’ve payed for everything, constantly visited him, i’ve even let him live with me a few different times. I’m only 23 and I can barely afford my rent, let alone take care of another human being. He constantly fights me, refuses to get a job, refuses to finish high school. I can’t take the mental load of taking care of him but I am so scared he’s gonna end up homeless, in jail, or dead. I’ve decided to let him learn the hard way since he refuses to listen to anyone. Am I the asshole?