Hi Reddit. I (19F) moved out of my adoptive father’s house last year, just a few months after I turned 18. Things have calmed down since then — we’re talking again, kind of — but I’m still getting comments from relatives, and honestly, I don’t know if I did the right thing. So… here I am.

A little background: I was adopted at 15 after growing up in a really chaotic home. My biological dad was an alcoholic. My mom — kind, but overwhelmed — couldn’t do much to protect any of us. There were eight of us kids, and a lot of things I try not to remember. So when I got adopted, it felt like a second chance.

My adoptive father isn’t a bad man. He provided for me. He gave me structure. I’ll always be grateful for that. But… he’s intense. He gets frustrated easily. Yells a lot — not out of cruelty, but out of control. Like he thinks if he raises his voice, he can make everything stay on track. He has two biological kids who lived with us too, and it always felt like they were the priority. He never said that, but everything — every rule, every consequence — always seemed to revolve around them. I felt like a guest in someone else’s family.

The last straw was honestly kind of stupid. I was in the bathroom too long one night — just scrolling on my phone after a shower — and he blew up. It wasn’t just about the bathroom. It was everything. He said I was inconsiderate, irresponsible, selfish. I didn’t yell back. I didn’t cry. I just… shut down. And the next day, I left.

I moved in with my aunt and cousin. I didn’t have a job yet, but my aunt gave me a place to stay. I found work, enrolled in community college, started paying rent. I’m building something for myself. Slowly. Quietly.

After about three months, he reached out. It wasn’t a big emotional apology — just a text. We’ve talked a few times since. It’s civil. But we’re not close.

Some family members think I overreacted. They say I should’ve been more patient, more understanding. That I didn’t even try to fix things. That he took me in when no one else did, and I just left over “a little yelling.” And maybe they’re right? Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe I expected too much. But I just got so tired of feeling like a problem no one had time to solve.

I don’t hate him. I don’t want to cut him off. I’m just… tired.

So, AITA for leaving when I did — even though he wasn’t abusive, and we’re okay-ish now?