A bit for context. I am a CSA survivor and my stepfather watched it happen and covered it up. In short he said if I told my mother what happened she would be sad and end herself and it would be my fault. I was 5-6 and completely believed this until I got older. Apparently my mother found out just a year later and just hoped I forgot it and moved on like nothing happened.

Now that I’m older my mother doesn’t see why I hold a grudge for her still being with him and forcing me to live with that man for years. She said “there was no good option “. Either she stays and I have to deal with the trauma of that or she leaves him and we moving into a smaller place. Also not be able to go shopping as much.I told her that any child would rather live in a box than feel unsafe and unloved. I explained there is no price for those feelings and trauma. She seemed completely confused and just didn’t understand why I would prefer to have lived in a different economic situation than live with a person like him. I told her “ I would have rather lived in a box than live with him”.

Now that I have my own place and live multiple miles away I have never invited her or stepfather over once. She has started saying she doesn’t understand why I haven’t had them over and I need to let the past go. She has told me that my actions and by “ holding this grudge “ I am sabotaging our opportunity to be a happy “ normal” family. Just the thought of them being in my safe place that I have worked so hard for makes my stomach drop. AITAH?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.