The girl who has bullied me in high school reached out to me for the first time after more than 10 years and after a bit of small talk texting she basically said something like: „How are you doing? I would love to meet up some time soon and talk about what happed in school over a coffee. I am expecting my first child and that makes me reflect on who I’ve been in the past and who I want to be as a person and a mother. I’ve done terrible things to you and feel very sorry for it. I would like to apologize in person.“ But I have no interest in meeting up. High school has been a bad chapter for me, but I’ve closed it up and have fully moved on. A talk would be great for her to lighten the burden of a bad conscience, and for me it would only open up old wounds. So what I‘ve answered her is the following (literally word for word): I’m sorry, but I’ll be completely honest: I don‘t want to talk about high school with you. It wouldn’t do me any good. I understand that your conscience might be weighing heavily on you, but that is not my fault and not my responsibility. You want to talk to get it all of your chest and feel less guilty, but what is in it for me? My thirteen year old self could have used an apology and some reconciliation, but to me now it‘s useless. I‘m not holding grudges against you and don’t mean any harm, but I’m also not gonna lie and say that you are forgiven. You just simply don‘t matter any more to me, and I‘d like to keep it that way. Congratulations to your pregnancy and all the best wishes for your daughter! I fully support you reflecting and bettering yourself for her, but I just can‘t help you with this. Maybe the most honest lesson to teach her would be that some things can’t be made right again and sometimes an apology just comes too late. Maybe you can teach her to never let it get this far. All the best!

I‘ve discussed this with my boyfriend and although he understands my reasoning and supports my decision, he believes letting her talk to me would have been the „morally right thing to do“. I don‘t regret it and won‘t change my mind, but I’m curious what other people think.