The title does look bad, but I would have to set the whole context in it for it not to. I put the nsfw only because "k*ll yourself" (aka suicide[?]) is a pretty forward subject. I have to point out that my first language is French, so maybe this phrase isn't as intense for me because of my mother tongue, hence why I'm asking for advice.

Anyway, so me (18M) and my partner (18NB) have been together 2 years now. We almost never have disagreements and we always tell each other what we don't like. My only issue is that, sometimes, their demands after or during a conflict are a bit too much for me.

For example, one time, we were disagreeing about me ordering and drinking wine at a buffet with my friend because they disliked the idea of me doing so. I told them we agreed I would try not to drink around them, but that I could not guarantee I would never ever drink, as sometimes the occasion calls for it. We had a talk about it, i explained i didn't like how they were upset by something that doesn't affect them and I feel like their demands would be a bit too controlling and they understood completely. That was that

Fast forward to tonight, we were playing a video game and an opponent was frustrating me quite a bit. I would insult it, as i think is a response most people do when they're playing a video game, without being mad at my partner. I said to the enemy "k*ll yourself" and they told me to please stop saying that and they didn't like it. I asked why and they said they didn't have to provide a reason because they just didn't like it. I usually respect this, but I feel like it's not something that affects them, hence im confused. To my knowledge, they have never been told that by anyone and it isn't a trigger for them, unless again they've never told me.

The reason I'm confused is because when I talk to them, I'm careful of not sounding mean or angry as I know they dislike it. There's still some irritation in my voice, obviously, but they know it isn't towards them because I make sure to say things like "ugh this is frustrating right" or "yeah, i really want to be done with this one its annoying". I love them and will stop saying anything they don't like to them, except in this situation it's to a completely different party, they are not targeted at all by my words and I make sure, to my very best, that they know that.

This is also the first time I ever ask someone's opinion on reddit because my next appointment with my therapist is in 3 weeks and I can't really ask advice to any of my friends (long story, unimportant). I hope you'll have advice for me as this is just something I'm confused about. Thank you!