My friend is getting married next weekend and is having a child-free wedding, which I completely respect and have no issue with. I’m a single mom to a medically complex 9-month-old who has a tracheostomy. His care is very specific and intensive so it’s not just a case of finding a babysitter on short notice. He needs someone trained to handle emergencies, suctioning, and feeding.

I RSVP’d no to the wedding from the start because I don’t have anyone in my city I can leave him with. My mom, who sometimes helps, lives in a different city. I also don’t have a big support system.

After I said no, she asked me to be a bridesmaid because some of her other bridesmaids had dropped out which felt a little odd given that I’d already explained I wouldn’t be able to attend. I politely declined again. Then she asked if I could bring someone with me to watch my son in a hotel room while I attend the wedding. I told her I can’t afford to pay someone for an overnight stay plus medical care (assuming I could even find someone qualified).

Her latest suggestion was that I leave my son with the woman who’ll be watching her son in another room during the wedding. Then she said I could alternate and go to the room myself to check on him, basically meaning I’d spend the evening bouncing between a wedding I’m not truly at, and caring for my medically fragile baby.

At this point, I’ve just told her (again) that I’m really sorry but I can’t come. She’s now very upset and says I’m making excuses and that she’s “trying to help and she really wants me to be at the wedding because I’m like an older sister to her.” I feel like I’ve been kind and honest from the beginning, but now I’m wondering. AITA for still saying no?