I've been with my girlfriend for just under 4 years. Recently she sat me down and said she feels at times we're not putting the effort into the relationship that we should be. She said when one of us picks an activity the other tends to seem slightly disinterested and sits on their phone etc, she also mentioned our sex life os basically non existent and wants to change that.

I agreed with her and said we should make sure to be more present and for dates and plans we don't use our phones unless necessary for example if we're using it for directions etc. I also suggested we make time for regular dates where we're completely focused on the date.

My girlfriend agreed to this and I've been putting the effort in and planning dates, making an effort to put my phone away when spending time with her etc. I've planned romantic nights away, planned nice dates, tried to initiate sex which my gf then rejects me.

The issue is my gf doesn't seem to be doing that.

I mentioned to her yesterday she's still using her phone and seeming disinterested in dates when I've planned them. She got defensive and denied it but I pointed out she'd used her phone multiple times during our last date.

She got defensive again and said I was trying to blame her for the issues we were having. I told her that wasn't what I was doing but just said to her that it can't just be me putting the effort in, it need to be reciprocal.

AITA for telling her to put more effort into the relationship?