I think this is so stupid but my friend is so mad at me so maybe she has a point?

I (32m) was hanging out with some friends and people at my friend’s house party. My one good friend was there, (31f), as well. She got married in October 2024. Her wedding ring is really large…I do not know much about jewelry and stone size, but it is a very big gem. I looked up what is likely the size just for the purpose of this post, and it would be around 10x8mm at least.

I have never said anything about thing ring other than it was pretty when she first showed it us friends! In my own personal thoughts I did think it was really big though and though it was likely moissanite or a lab grown diamond or whatever. Purely because the only time I’ve seen a jewel that size that was touted as a mined diamond was on a celebrity or very wealthy ppl. And I know she makes under $60k and her husband is a private in the army…so I dk how much he makes, but I feel like it can’t be that much or everyone would be joining the army to be paid that much as a private.

Again tho, I don’t care. I’ve heard diamonds can be unethical as well so this is not something I care about and I myself have a lab grown sapphires on my wedding band. I’m just stating the background here.

Anyways, at the party some woman that I’ve only met once or twice looks at the ring and says, “wow! That’s not real is it?” And my friend kinda becomes awkward and is like, “umm yeah? It is.” And I agree, weird comment to make…just keep it to yourself. But the woman goes on saying stuff like “what does your husband do tho? I thought he was in the army doing (specific job)? A real diamond that big would probably be (large number I don’t remember).”

At this point things are very awkward imo and so I chime in, “Well lab grown diamonds are real diamonds. Like it’s not like they’re cgi…you can touch them!” Trying to make a joke and move on.

Someone else says, “Or some people prefer moissanite because it’s more sparkly.”

The woman says, “oh I know! I was just surprised by how big it was and didn’t know if (husband) was secretly rich!”

People change the subject and I don’t think much of it for the rest of the night.

On the way home, my friend and I split a Lyft and she’s noticeably quiet. I ask her what’s wrong and she says, “Well tbh, I don’t know why you implied my ring was lab grown…you should just said it was a real diamond.”

I was like, “Oh I don’t know what it is…I was just trying to say that there is nothing wrong with lab grown diamonds.” And she says that in doing that I implied her ring was “fake” and I should’ve just “defended” her.

At this point I was just like, “Ok I don’t understand why you’re mad…but ok. I won’t bring up lab diamonds in the same sentence as your ring again.” And she just starts complaining about how the woman was so rude…which yes, I do agree it was a random and rude thing to say aloud. But then my friend asks why she would even ask her if it was real. And I just say, “Well it’s really big and most people don’t have diamonds that big…especially regular people like us.”

And she got really mad and quiet again. So apparently that was the wrong thing to say. I was trying to just answer her question and when I said “regular people”, I meant…not super wealthy.

I got out of the car when we got to my house and said goodbye, but she ignored me.

Our other friend, who hosted the party, texted me yesterday saying that our friend was mad at both of us for not “defending her.”

So maybe I’m being really insensitive but I just don’t see the big deal. I have a necklace with a large “fake” diamond…I just assume everyone knows it’s fake and don’t pass it off as an actual diamond. It would be wild for me—people know my job, that I drive a Honda, and where I live—to have a diamond that big. I would not be offended at that assumption. But she really is and thinks I should have vehemently insisted on the ring being a “natural diamond” specifically, even though I have no idea what it is. Is that just something I should know to do?

I am not the only person she’s mad at…she is mad at every close friend who was there and didn’t join in the convo as well.

I dk if I was insensitive here and should apologize or just wait for it to blow over.

tl;dr: should I have automatically stated my friend’s wedding ring was a “natural diamond” when some asked about it, although I myself didn’t know and never asked about it? And was I wrong in just immediately saying lab diamonds are perfectly fine and technically “real”?

Thank you.