For context - My husband always talks to his family (they live in another country) for more than an hour every weekend (both the days) AND for about 20-30 mins everyday during the weekday, all of which are video calls. This often impacts our weekend plans and I’ve conveyed my annoyance multiple times. I’m close to my family as well, however, i try to get most of the talking done in transit to work. My husband also has a longer transit time and I’ve suggested talking to his family when he travels to work. We both take public transport and can easily talk during transit. However, he says because he wants to video call, he can’t do it in transit. I have no idea why every call needs to be a video call. Anyway, recently it was his cultural festival (we are from different cultures) and this was during a weekday. I came back from work and decided to cook him something he likes. This dish take an hour and a half approximately to cook. He was ofcourse aware of it and got the necessary ingredients on his way back home.

When i started cooking, he started his call with his family and went to the next room. Since it was a festival i expected him to talk longer. However, 40 mins in i was upset he didn’t bother to even be in the kitchen. I text him asking when he will be done and he responds to it by asking if i need something. At this point, I am annoyed that he thinks he should be there only if i need something. And continues to talk for the next 20 mins, even after i texted him that he should have had the courtesy to atleast be in the same room since I am cooking for him. Another thing that bothers me is he never tells his parents that he has to go unless his parents hang up. Even during the weekends when we have planned something, we almost always have an argument because he never hangs up the call unless they do. The same thing happened on this day. He finally came into the kitchen only when they hung up. He says he didn’t know i started cooking, which is strange because he literally saw me start. He says it didn’t register that I started and he then went to the next room. Strange but whatever. I then asked had you known i had been cooking something, would you have come sooner? He responds that he would have atleast texted ‘hows it going’. At this point i lose my calm because that is all he thinks he should have done. I stop cooking and left it midway. I was already tired after work, but was still gladly cooking for him but lost interest and got upset because i didn’t feel appreciated. He literally talks everyday anyway. I understand it was his cultural festival and he wanted to talk to his family, which i why I was okay the first 40 mins of him being away while i was cooking. BUT i was also doing something for him. All i expected was him to atleast be with me and hang up the call sooner. Is that too much to ask or am i overreacting?