So, a few months ago, I crossed a boundary with my friend-with-benefits (FWB), and I didn’t realize it at the time. We’d been casually intimate, and I messaged her, trying to escalate things, but she wasn’t into it. Later, she told me she was put off by my behavior and that she wanted to take a break from the sexual side of things for a while. I totally understood and didn’t argue, but I did feel bad about it, and I’ve been harsh on myself for not noticing the signs earlier.

We still talk and hang out as friends, and I respect her boundary now. But recently, she’s been flirting with me in a sexual way, like how things were before. I’m confused because she didn’t seem ready to get back into anything physical, but now it feels like she’s testing the waters. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into it, but I’ve been trying to keep things platonic and diffuse any sexual tension when it comes up.

Here’s the issue: I’m not sure if I’m ready to be intimate with her again. The whole ordeal really affected my confidence, and I feel like I’m still processing what happened. I’m worried if I tell her that I’m not ready to be intimate yet, she’ll think I’m punishing her for something she’s already set a boundary on. I also don’t want her to feel frustrated if she’s testing the waters, but I don’t want to jump into anything before I feel emotionally ready.