I was in a relationship that ended badly in 2020. The person I was with had already been talking to the woman he’s now married to while we were still together. It was my first relationship (5 years), and I haven’t been in any romantic relationships since. I did some things he wanted, that I was reluctant to do. The relationship changed me and I don’t like who I was during that time.

When talking about him (when I really can’t avoid it like now), I can’t use my in front of ex. I’ve asked my family and friends to do the same. His name is banned in my presence. I minimize my digital trail as much as I can, delete and block everything tied to him, some friends whom I know follow him and he follows them back asked to meet me, from 2020 until now, I turned them down because I don’t want him to have any kind of updates about me. That’s how bad it was and how I don’t want to be associated with him and some parts of my past. My friend accidentally told me last year that he’s married to the same woman he was talking to at the end of those five years.

Here’s the thing, I noticed this one number keeps calling me a few times a year. I try not to answer calls from unknown numbers, especially personal numbers, not even HR sometimes.

Last year, I found out it was him. I picked up thinking it was HR, recognized his voice, and immediately hung up. He called again. I blocked him. My sister offered to text him to settle it. She was the intermediary when he repaid my money back then. His excuse was that he somehow had my contact lenses and wanted to send them to me. People, I’ve never worn contacts in my life. My sister told him to drop it and never contact me again.

I reset my phone settings this year and the call came through again. I told my sister. I wanted to go to the police, but for the last time, I asked her to handle this because I still can’t confront him, kinda pathetic. To summarize, she used firm words with him. So, he’s been calling from his work number. Same excuse, the contact lenses one. He begged her not to involve his wife and kid. Told her if he tries again, we can report him to the police.

I checked my call logs and only have records from 2023 onwards. It always happens around my birthday month and the end of the year. I’m pretty sure it started before that. I recognized the name he used for the number, but I could be wrong.

It might not seem like a big deal, just a few calls a year, but to me, it’s… I don’t think this cross into stalking, but it still makes me feel disturbed, distressed, and unclean.

He knows my close friends’ social media. He used to have my siblings’ numbers. They never changed them. He knows their socmeds too. He could’ve contact them. Am I overreacting? I feel like I am. Everything seems settled. I’m changing my number today, it’s a pain because of work and all but I think it’s necessary. I’m posting in this sub, and that’s out of character for me tbh.