I (18f) have had a rocky relationship with my mom (46f) for nearly a year after a very specific event that was the last drop in the bucket and led to her moving away. She has been going from infinitely apologetic (guilt tripping) to infinitely angry and back and forth. She goes from swearing that she misses me and my brother (22m), that were her whole world and stuff, but she badmouths us, she goes telling her side of the family that we’re ungrateful, that we don’t love her, that we would be happy if she died and more stuff like that.

This has led to my grandparents (her parents) telling me and my brother to understand her, because she’s like that, that shes our mom, stuff like that. She even cut off a family friend (my best friend’s mom) because she was helping us out and tried to help her and my dad (50m) solve their issues, which only resulted in another event at my house and my friend’s older sister coming to pick me up and letting me “hide” in this friend’s house (they’re practically our neighbors). And even she keeps telling me to text my mom, to put the effort, to tell her that I love her, to go out with her, let her pick me up from school, but I just can’t Interact with her without it feeling like she’s being manipulative, that everything I say will be used against me and just infinitely uncomfortable.

And I just can’t feel bad for her, I guess? She keeps posting on the WhatsApp status stuff that I can’t find anything but cringe, at this point, posting photos of us with sad faces, posting “I miss you”, stuff like that that only feels like a guilt trip, but I’m being repeatedly told that she’s my mom and that I should put the effort into my relationship with her and I can’t help but wonder if I’m really in the wrong.

So, AITA for not being sorry for my mom?