I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. Ultimately, I want to know if AITAH for telling my friend I can no longer be a bridesmaid in her wedding.

For context, my long-term friend of 10+ years is getting married in late July. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and at first I was so so happy for her and that she asked me to be a part of her special day. However, since then, I was unexpectedly laid off and as of a few days ago so was my partner. When I was first laid off, I thought I could still make it work and even ordered my dress which was only around $200. But now that my partner is out of work, I feel like i have to make the difficult decision to back out because theres too many unknowns that's causing us (especially me) deep distress. Before I was even laid off, finances were already tight, and my friend (the bride to be) was incredibly understanding about me not being able to attend her other pre-wedding events. There was no pressure from her whatsoever. Now, with my partner also being laid off it's like we are re-evaluating everything. Even though I purchased the dress already, I feel like given the circumstances, the smartest thing would be to return it to be minfdul of my finances. If I stayed as a bridesmaid, I would still need to pay for alterations, shoes, my partner's suit, gifts, etc., Theres just other little expenses that would add up. I think I am also expected to contribute to part of the bridal shower, but that hasn't been fully discussed yet.

I have literally been losing sleep over this. No exaggeration. Her wedding is coming up fast and I feel like I know what the right decision is but I feel terrible. I have so much guilt for disappointing her in this way when shes been so understanding about everything else and asked me to be her bridesmaid. It hurts me so much to have to do this. In addition to finances, theres also the commitment of taking time off if i do find a new job. I just don't know what my next couple of months are going to look like and think it would be best to be honest now and back out instead of giving last-minute notice. I can;t bring myself to talk to her about this. It feels like an impossible situation that's also very sensitive and personal. I feel like all of my business is inevitably going to be discussed with the rest of the bridal party and no matter what, I look like AITAH.

Thoughts? Please be kind. I am in a very sensitive and emotional place right now and feel so ashmaed, guilty, and sad to be in this position.