For context I’m 24F, I have a 22F sister, and two younger brothers (share the same dad) 5M and 2M. I have emetophobia (phobia of vomiting) which I am in therapy for and it’s improving but it’s so severe that last year I almost ended up stuck in the house full time with anxiety and had very dark scary thoughts. I work though so had to get up and go!

The issue is that obviously children are not very hygienic - now I know that I’m quite overly with hand washing, but I’m genuinely scared to be around kids because they’re ill all the time but I love my brothers so I go to visit and do my best to not show any phobia because I don’t want them to pick up on it. However, even though my Dad knows about my issues he thinks I’m being ridiculous and so when birthdays etc roll around he gets my brothers to bake me things and tries to get me to eat them in front of everyone. I know that they won’t have been made to wash their hands, will have had their fingers up their nose then in the food, will have been eating it while baking, and although I wish I could just eat it and enjoy it I cannot do it without panicking. Also, when we sit together for dinner my older younger brother always wants to sit next to me and often pokes at my food or starts blowing things/speaking/shouting over it so ends up spitting in it. He also likes to ‘fake cough’ and often does that in the direction of my food.

When this happens I stop eating, I don’t say anything other than I’m full and don’t want to eat anymore but my Dad and sister get annoyed and say I am being ridiculous and selfish. When it’s the baked goods I try to take them home and give them to my BF or dump them which makes me sad but I can’t bring myself to eat it. They get annoyed at me for not eating it in front of the boys.

AITA here? I feel terrible about my issues and I don’t want to upset my brothers, I love them so much, so I feel like maybe I am the AH and my family are right. But on the other side I am trying my best to overcome my issues and not show them to the boys, it’s just really hard and not something that can go away overnight.