For the last 2 years of my life, I was being assaulted near-daily & abused in a variety of other ways. Only in the last few months have I even come to realise what has happened to me, but I have now left the relationship and I'm working towards no contact.

The only thing that makes this complex is a belonging, that used to belong to one of his dead relatives. This whole situation is incredibly long and stressful to explain, but this singular belonging means a lot to me to. because i decorated it for him, and he has allowed me to keep it since he got it, so it holds a lot of memories, sentimental value, and reminds me of a time when I was more blissfully unaware. It's been with me through the breakup, me and my best friend have been reliant on this to keep us occupied and alive.

It is, also, my current only method to maintain several of my hobbies & is an archive of evidence of my abuse. I would have to wipe it completely to give it back to him.

He has the last 3 years of my life, he has thousands of dollars in gifts, some of my clothes, prized possessions, & most importantly - is my rapist. My best friend, who he also raped, has repeatedly told me to not give this belonging back.

He keeps messaging me for it, and is telling me he's disappointed im ignoring him and that its his and he wants it back because its from his relative. I would need to pay for the travel, id need to go to the house i was raped 100s of times in, id need to look at his family again, and id be losing one of my biggest coping mechanisms with the whole situation.

my best friend says after ruining the rest of my life, the least I deserve is to be able to keep this single belonging. am I the asshole??