My (20F) fiancé (23M) and I have been together for almost 4 years. We’ve fooled around, but we’ve never had sex. At first, I didn’t plan on waiting until marriage, but over time, I became more afraid. It’s hard to explain — I get very emotionally attached and vulnerable, and I started getting anxious about what sex would mean for me mentally and emotionally. I never clearly communicated that I wanted to wait, because I wasn’t even sure I did. It just sort of happened that way.

Now, it's become a huge issue in our relationship. He’s become increasingly resentful, distant, and angry. He says he feels emasculated — that he’s 23 and still a virgin, and it’s embarrassing to him. I do feel bad because I know this is affecting his confidence and our intimacy, but at the same time, I don’t feel ready. I’m scared, and I don’t think it’s fair to pressure myself into doing something I’m not emotionally prepared for. I’ve tried explaining that, but I don't think he understands anymore.

On top of that, something else has been bothering me. When we got engaged, I showed him my dream ring — an Olive Ave design — but I understood we couldn’t afford the real thing because of college expenses. So instead, he got me a $700 Etsy replica, which I was okay with. I appreciated the gesture and the thought behind it.

But recently, he drained his savings and spent $2,000 in cash on a 1968 Cutlass. I understand it’s his money and he’s passionate about cars, but it stung. Now he’s telling me we can’t afford a honeymoon. But then he admitted the real reason is that he doesn’t think I’ll be ready to have sex even after the wedding, so in his words, “What’s the point?” Previously we've been on trip and on our latest in I really tried to do it, but I freaked out. He feels like I keep lying to him.

I feel hurt, and honestly, a little betrayed. I’ve compromised, tried to be understanding, and I know I’ve made mistakes by not being upfront early on. But I also feel like I’m being punished for having complicated feelings.

So, Reddit — AITA for not having sex with my fiancé yet and for being upset about the car/honeymoon situation?