If you’re a podcaster or smt similar please don’t use this post

The story is about over a year ago, I’m no longer in contact with anyone of the people reminded (except my mom of course). We’re all young adult. Sorry for not detailing too much.

I had a best friend who lived in an abusive environment. Her mother was extremely controlling — she restricted what my friend could wear, who she could date, and how she behaved in public. Her phone was tracked at all times, and gradually things escalated to verbal and physical aggression. My friend told me she was being yelled at, hit, and humiliated when she didn’t follow strict household rules.

I tried to convince that she had to leave the house. I admit I was pressing her. It was painful to see her suffer while feeling like there was nothing I could really do.

What made things worse was her older brother that used to back their mother up sometimes. One day, we were with some friends and he started saying inappropriate things about my friend’s boyfriend, parroting things their mom had said. I snapped. I yelled at him in public. Later that evening, I was on the phone with my friend, and I could hear him in the background. I shouted at him through the phone too while I was on my way home. I didn’t care who heard — I was just furious that he was making her life harder instead of supporting her her or keeping silent. Later, we (her brother and I) were texing in anger. I said some things I now regret — including personal jabs I shouldn’t have made. Eventually, their mom contacted mine and claiming I’m meddling where I didn’t belong. The whole thing spiraled, and instead of helping I made everything worse.

I’m Jewish and religious, and I carry a lot of guilt about how I handled it. I know I probably crossed lines and was the ah about handling the situation: public shaming, lashon hara, humiliating someone in a way that’s deeply wrong in my faith. Those are things I’ve genuinely regretted and tried to reflect on. This is by the way I’d like to ask you’ll not to call those people in names or smt.

But at the same time, I still wonder if it was right to speak up — even imperfectly — rather than stay silent.

So when it comes to convincing a friend to make a big step as leaving her house - AITA?