My sister passed away last year. She had two boys with her late husband, Jim. Her oldest is Shane (22) and her youngest is Luke (7). My sister and Jim tried to have a second child for many years and it took that long for her to get pregnant again but sadly when Luke was only a baby Jim died. My sister met her second husband, Rick, a year after Jim died. Shane wasn't happy about it and he made sure to tell Luke all about their dad and he interfered in Rick and Luke bonding. Even when he moved out he was at the house almost every day or he'd take Luke out with him. By that point my sister was a shell of a person and she began drinking heavily.

Rick tried to be a father to Luke but Shane made sure he was more involved than Rick could be and my sister didn't intervene. When my sister died Shane took Luke from the house and filed for custody. Rick asked to have a relationship with Luke and Shane said no so Rick also sued for custody. Shane won the custody battle.

I was not very involved in any of this. My relationship with my sister was not the best and I only really came into my nephew's lives after she died. But in the months that followed I have been far more involved in their lives and I really had no contact with Rick until recently. He told me he wishes he could have some contact with Luke and he wanted me to try and help set it up. I told him I wasn't comfortable going against Shane's wishes and Luke didn't appear to miss him either so it didn't feel right to force the issue. He told me he tried his very best to be a good dad to Luke and he would happily be an uncle figure or a father figure to him. He said he'd be happy to be there for Shane too but Shane never gave him a chance and he got what he wanted. But all he ever wanted was to be a family.

I did speak to the boys but Shane confirmed he did not want Rick to have contact with them and Luke was so disinterested. He really doesn't seem to have built any affection for Rick and that's likely due to a lack of time spent together. Which I know Shane was in part responsible for.

This was a point some friends brought up when they asked for an update on the boys recently. They said Shane's the one who stopped Rick and Luke from bonding and I should try harder to help him out because he's the man my sister chose and he's tried even if it wasn't appreciated or respected by Shane.

I feel like it would only cause more issues if I tried to force it and I don't want to do that. But AITA?