My girlfriend (29F) and I (30M) were on vacation in Naples, Florida back in March. One afternoon I brought up the fact that my stepmom’s family is having a reunion this July in White Sulphur Springs, Virginia. I told her I’d been loosely thinking about a potential road trip from Massachusetts—maybe stopping in Philly, DC, and the Great Smoky Mountains on the way. I asked her if she’d be interested in coming along.

As soon as I mentioned it, I could tell it didn’t land well. She went quiet, and after a few minutes she said she felt disappointed. Her take was that I was presenting a trip I was planning to do either way, and that I was just inviting her along as an afterthought—not as a real partner in the planning.

I tried to explain that it was a trip idea four months away, nothing was finalized, and I was just trying to start a conversation about something I thought could be fun for both of us. I also mentioned that I’d really like her to meet that side of my family, and this reunion could be a good opportunity. She hasn’t really spent time with them, and I thought this could be a nice way to do that—plus make a fun vacation out of it.

So now I’m wondering—AITA for not presenting it in a more collaborative way? Or was she overreacting to what was just meant to be an early, open-ended idea?