I (26F) had a birthday dinner last weekend with about 12 close friends. I organized it at one of my favorite restaurants and made a group reservation in advance. I made it clear from the start that it was a small gathering just my core people and that I wanted it to feel chill and intimate.

One of my closest friends, Maya (25F), has been dating this guy Luke (30M) for about 4 months. We've met him a couple times and while he's fine, I wouldn't say we're close. He also talks a lot and once made a really inappropriate joke in front of my friends that made things awkward.

Soo when I was planning the dinner, I told Maya I'd love for her to come but that I was keeping it to just close friends no plusones, unless they were already long term friends of the group.

She said she "got it" but I could tell she was a bit off. The night of the dinner she didn't show up. She texted me two hours after it started saying this "didn't feel comfortable coming without Luke" and hoped I had a good night.

I didn't respond right away because I was kind of hurt. Later that week she called me and said she felt excluded and that real friends support your relationship, even if they're not besties with your partner.

I told her again that it wasn't about Luke personally that I wasn't inviting any newer partners because I just wanted a lowkey vibe with people I actually know.. She said I mad her feel like she had to choose between her boyfriend and her friends.

Now she has been distant and a couple mutual friends think I was being too rigid about the no plusones thing. But it was my birthday and I thought I had the right to set the tone?

AITA?